Today is my 10-year anniversary of moving to New York City.
You probably know me as someone who talks a lot. HA! I do. But reflecting on this momentous occasion, and what it means to me, I’m actually at a loss for words. I can’t seem to form the sentences to express what an incredible journey my life has been, a most unexpected adventure, the greatest love affair of my life… words don’t have the capacity for such grandiose feelings, and all my attempts have felt paltry and cliché.
So, in true Meghan fashion, I’ll deflect from my deep, inexpressible feelings by making a joke.
OF COURSE living in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of has changed me! After 10 years, anyone would be changed forever. Here are the ways that living in New York City for TEN WHOLE YEARS will change you.
After 10 years in NYC, you will…
…Automatically move to the right inside of every sidewalk, staircase, and escalator you’re on. Unless you’re faster than Those Fuckers, in which case, you pass on the left and get back in your lane, cuz you’re not green.
…Be able to finish any meal in five minutes, polishing off any amount of food that’s put in front of you quicker than your suburban dining companions. Even if you stop to photograph it first.
…know the subway line you live along so well in both directions that you can name every stop on the line in both directions, AND know exactly where to stand on those platforms in order to get off the train right outside “your” exit.
… be able to recommend a nice place to eat in every neighborhood you’ve ever been in, and always knows the closest and cleanest public bathroom to you wherever you are.
…be able to pee in a public park bathroom where the door doesn’t lock all the way, while wearing a 4 winter coats, a backpack, a purse, a Trader Joe’s bag on your lap and an IKEA bag on your shoulder. While drinking Starbucks. And eating sushi with chopsticks. And STILL not get any drops of pee on the seat (yeah, I’m looking at YOU, tourists who “hover over”!!!)
…know enough to fart on the platform right before boarding the train so you’re speeding away before it even starts to smell.
…herald your intent to disembark the train as the car approaches your stop by picking your bag up off the floor, tightening your grip on your purse, heaving a “here we go” sigh, and/or jingling your keys to warn the people standing between you & the door to move the fuck outta the way!
…put up with all of the above daily annoyances because you’re living your dream every day, and pinch yourself at ever being so lucky as to live in the greatest city on Earth.