I’m old enough to remember being drilled by my elders on the concept of etiquette. I assure you, even as a punk rock baby, I realized most of it was total bullshit. I mean, WHO CARES if you wanna use a tea spoon to eat your soup with?

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve settled into the belief that Rules Make Fun More Fun. And since most of the etiquette rules I was raised on no longer even matter (for instance, which side of the place setting a napkin goes on? Napkins are wasteful! I only ever use them when I’m wearing lipstick or eating tacos, which are messy. Don’t @ me about Millennials killing the paper napkin industry).

But I do think we should all come together and decide upon some some Modern Manners. I know how I feel about all of these behaviors. I put it to YOU, Internet-at-Large. Is it ever acceptable to:

 

Out To Eat

…fix your makeup at the table after eating?

…take up a table for four if there’s two or fewer in your party?

…pick your teeth at the table, even if there’s something stuck in there that’s really annoying?

…make (or take) a phone call in the dining area?

…leave the sound ON on your phone while actively using it (including video game noises, email sending noises, texting back-and-forth noises)?

 

 

On The Train

…eat something?

…apply your makeup?

…brush your hair?

…play games on your phone with the sound on?

…play music on your phone out loud without using headphones?

…ask someone to move over/put their legs together to make room on the bench?

…ask someone to give up their seat on a crowded train because you are tired/not feeling well?

 

 

On The Town

…play your music aloud as you’re walking/biking down the street?

…walk in the middle of a staircase/narrow sidewalk?

…stop dead in your tracks suddenly to use your phone?

…engage strangers in conversation?

 

I know what I think…. I want to know what you think? Am I overly fussy? Overly permissive? What’s allowed? What’s unacceptable? Tell me!

 

image via Wikimedia Commons