What’s In My Bag???? and, related: Does Anyone Care???

Without a doubt, one of the top most overdone posts in the world of Blogging and Vlogging is the “What’s In My Bag?” post.

Yep, I’m dissing the bag post.

I’ve been trying to cut back on the haterade (can’t drink it now anyway, I’m on antibiotics), but I have to be honest with you: I really don’t “get” these posts. I try! I’ve watched countless “What’s in my bag?” vlogs and read all of your posts but I just really don’t find them at all interesting. Sorry! It’s always the same items:

  • keys
  • wallet
  • sunglasses
  • gross old chapstick

There’s nothing interesting or revelatory about these things, I’m really sorry. I’m so so sorry I just don’t enjoy What’s In My Bag posts. I’ve genuinely tried, though, and I consider this to be my final attempt to prove to myself that I’m not a shitty Hater-with-a-capital-H by doing a “What’s in my bag?” blog of my own.

 

I know, I know. Why? I suppose the answer is, I don’t know. I carry this bag every day and even I, the carrier of said bag, don’t fully care what’s in it. It has, however, become very very heavy as of late, and I’ve started to feel a twinge of curiosity. Exactly, what is making my bag so damn heavy? More importantly, is this the genesis for all “What’s In My Bag?” posts? Does it come about after a fruitless search for that hand sanitizer you were sure you had in there has turned up nothing, and you’re left scratching your head wondering what kind of wormhole opened up when that pen you stole from the bank worked a rip through the inner lining?

So in an effort to understand this dying star that I’ve been lugging around…here’s What’s In My Bag!

A coat. A uniqlo down coat. A winter coat.

Four Larabars. FOUR!

My keys…my keys in themselves are big!

Spare bags, because I’m really trying to get rid of plastic bags. We have TWO Ikea plastic bag holders under our sink, both full. Who needs that much plastic in their life?!?

Pamprin, because I’m terrified of getting caught with cramps in the wild.

My stub from jury duty… IN NOVEMBER! Was still floating around the bottom of my purse. So this will be the first time it’s been cleaned out THIS YEAR. Hmm.

A business card from one of the bakeries I wrote about for Brokelyn! Wooh, self promotion!!

Business cards that my mom (!) made for the ghost tours, as a tangible handout when people ask what I do, so they can find & book the ghost tours. Pretty sharp idea, mom!

And another thing my mom will be happy to know that I have rolling around at the bottom of my purse!

And Moo cards for my blog!

This is actually a tiiiiiiny tub of Cetaphil lotion, for when, like, you need lotion, but you need A GOOD lotion.

This is my hairbrush, and my sunglasses. Yes, I keep my sunglasses in this little silky drawstring bag. My $1 sunglasses live in a fancy bag.

Here’s some tissues….AND! A pen that I “stole” from my hotel room in Circus Circus when I was desperately ill and yet I have such fond memories of this place. I don’t know why. I was literally stuck on the toilet until my legs went numb and then I couldn’t even crawl back to bed so I napped on the bathroom floor with a towel under my head (overshare?) and yet I’m like “awwww Circus Circus!” Dude.

Ibuprofen. And mints. You have these in your purse, right?

Oooh, now this is fun! This is a tiny (but very expensive) perfume from Anthropologieeeee that I call my “rich lady” perfume because it smells like flowers and the kind of person who would buy a tiny, expensive perfume from Anthropologieeee.

Oh yeah, hand sanitizer!

THESE are spare keys to our apartment. Not the building…just our apartment. In my eight and a half years in New York City, I have NEVER forgotten my keys and locked myself out of my apartment. HOWEVER, it will never happen thanks to my diligence. These keys will get me into my apartment, provided there is a neighbor home to let me into the front door. Also, how cute is this keychain?!? I love it!

More tissues! NICE! And this is a super charger that my boyfriend got me that charges AND has a cord in it and it’s basically the greatest thing ever!

FIVE PEPTO BISMOL!
four giant Band-Aids
three ob tampons
two pantiliners

 

AND THAT’S What Is In My Bag!!!!

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