Some Assembly Required


IKEA assembly

Well, today, I feel more accomplished than I have in a looong time.

So the plan for today was to meet a friend for lunch (BTW if there’s a Dig Inn near you, EAT THERE). From there, the ferry to IKEA, to buy a drawer unit and take it home. This did not go according to plan when it turned out that the box would need to be carried in my arms on the bus + subway + walk home.

Let’s not even touch on the fact that I nearly died AND decapitated a tweenage girl on the bus because the diabolical driver didn’t let me steady myself before speeding off. It was unreal! Both myself AND this boxed furniture are very heavy, obviously. Yet somehow, we both went flying around the bus, bouncing off of passengers and poles, as if the gravity had been turned off but only for us? I want to report this driver. I cut my finger, body-slammed a child, and I’m sure I have a huge bruise on my butt from one of my rough landings. Not happy.

But the happy news is, I assembled this cabinet ALL BY MYSELF.

I think it’s the most confident and accomplished I’ve felt in … months? I strongly recommend to anyone suffering from wondering if they’re going crazy because everything they touch turns to shit:

Go to Ikea.

Buy a piece of furniture.

Bring it home.

Assemble it successfully ALL BY YOURSELF.

This temporary “high” from victory reminds me of the last time I felt truly, truly accomplished. It was while building the shade structure out at Burning Man! Oh, the work gloves, stool and screwdriver were my best friends. Because of this, I have learned that maybe the thing I was Meant To Do With My Life was to PUT STUFF TOGETHER. Where will this lead me?

To a career in construction?

To build the world’s most intricate Lego sculpture?

To finish one of those five bajillion piece puzzles?

Only time will tell, I suppose.

 


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