OH MAY GAW you guys I’m at Burning Man right now so I’m unable to post but am using
time travel scheduled posts to keep up! Today is usually Sunday Stealing day, but since I’m not around, I’m doing something different: The MY HOGWARTS STORY TAG created by Danielle at Underland to Wonderland, because I’d obviously make an amazing wizard considering I have the same birthday as Harry Potter! Yeah, we can totally share parties, it’s cool, I don’t mind sharing some of the attention with The Boy Who Lived.
Are you Pure Blood, Half Blood or Muggle Born?
Muggle Born, for sure, but I always knew I was special and different! I’d hope all my childhood that I’d get whisked away somewhere different and when I got my letter, it felt too unreal to believe!
It’s definitely from the bargain bin – hey, I may be a Muggle, but I can make this work! Put some stickers over the dents and burn areas, it’s all good! It definitely has to have a unicorn hair in it though – I ADORE UNICORNS and even though I’m kind of new at this, I HAVE GREAT TASTE.
I’d like to say I have an owl, but me and my toad just aren’t that cool. Actually, my toad is probably COOLER than ME. And I guess I have to live with that.
I’d definitely get placed in Ravenclaw. I’ve always been a straight-A student, bookworm, all that. They’d just look at my transcripts and put me in with the smart kids, which, yeah, that’s fine – but I’d always hang out with Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs.
Gryffindor. Hufflepuff. With my friends. But even at that young age, I’d resign myself that Ravenclaw is best for me to focus on my work.
Which lessons are your favourite and least favourite?
I would love history class. I would totally be teacher’s pet there. I would pretend to like Defense Against the Dark Arts, to be cool, but I really hate it because it’s terrifying. I don’t even want to think about Dark Arts. I don’t mind Potions that much because I keep really quiet and work really hard. Professor Snape gets a bad rap, if you ask me, he’s not all that bad a teacher.
The fierce and mighty…Pomeranian! Fear him, and hide your ankles! He’ll nip your…fingertips. But he is never going to back down!
When confronted with a Boggart, what does it look like to you?
Nothing. NoThiNg. Nothingness, void, emptiness, meaninglessness. My existential fears made manifest. It’s all nothing.
Do you partake in any school sports or magical hobbies?
Does Hogwarts have a DRAMA CLUB?!? Yeah sure they do. While everyone else is playing Quidditch, we’re trying to convince a few of the more sympathetic Hufflepuffs who are too nice to refuse to sit through our amateur UN-abridged Shakespeare plays which, admittedly, have AMAZING stage effects. Prof. Trelawney is our faculty director. It’s terrible, but also amazing.
If you have free time, where would you be found hanging out?
You are most likely to get detention for what?
Trying to use charms to clear my skin, lying to younger students about what their tea leaves say, flooding the Hufflepuff common room by accident while running lines for The Tempest.
What career do you want after leaving Hogwarts?
I would try to use my “charm” to parlay into a stage career, but I’d end up working behind the curtains to make sure everything goes right. I’d keep my wand in my pocket, whisper a quick spell, and every show would go flawlessly. Nobody would ever know my secret.