Why Vacation Isn’t All That

I love traveling up to Buffalo every year.  But let’s face it:  sometimes vacation sucks.  Living out of a suitcase, travel-sized bottles of toiletries, long stretches of highway where your feet fall asleep and your butt falls asleep and finally YOU fall asleep and you drool against the window of a Greyhound bus (not that there’s anything wrong with that)! 

It’s nice to be on vacation, sure!  But here are five reasons why it’s nice NOT to be on vacation:

WARDROBE

So this actually happened:  I left New York where it was 97 degrees and humid and by the second day in Buffalo, temperatures had dipped down to the high 60’s.  I had to borrow sweaters to stay warm and lug around a suitcase full of shorts and sundresses that it was too cold to wear!  You can never predict the weather, so you’re at a total disadvantage when traveling as far as wardrobe is concerned.

FOOD

I spent the first morning of my vacation throwing up from too much rich food.  Is it awesome to wake up and spend the morning huddled over the toilet heaving your guts up?  No.  Being back from vacation means I’m able to eat what I want, when I want, and I’m looking forward to feeling better soon.  Ugh!  I ate so much buttercream, I think if you cut into my arteries, it would ooze buttercream!


HABITS

When on vacation, you feel super guilty about checking your phone, texting, following Instagram…all the normal day-to-day stuff.  BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE ON VACATION!  But some things just don’t take a vacation.  Like, the insatiable desire to check your email every forty seconds.

BOTTLES

All your normal bathroom stuff that you normally have in the cabinet is in a million little bottles alllllll over the place.  So many bottles!  I never realized how high-maintenance I was until I put my bathroom routine into travel bottles:  face wash, shampoo, conditioner, sunscreen, etc etc etc…sooooo many bottles!  It’s nice to be home, where my bottles are, and I don’t even have to think about it!

SOBRIETY

There’s no reason NOT to drink on vacation.  And if someone else brings booze, it’s rude to pass it up, right?  So every evening is spent rip-roaring drunk:  playing cards, walking over to the 7-11 for Slushees, falling asleep in front of House Hunters with one hand in the pretzel M&Ms, drooling on the armrest.  It’s kind of nice to have a clear head for a change!  I ain’t ever gonna drink again!

At least I can say I went all out on vacation, and got plenty of vacationing in to last me until my next vacation…which will probably be in about a year from now!

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