Supers Really Aren’t

Any minute now, the super of my building is going to ring the doorbell and find me in full makeup and pajamas, watching My Little Pony, waiting for him to come and fix three separate issues in the less than two hours before I have to leave for work.

I don’t blame this super.  All supers (and I’ve had four so far) seem to be the same:

TIME WINDOWS – The super gives you a vague indication of when he’ll stop by.  Like, “in the morning,” “on Monday” or “Next week.”  Which means one must be ever vigilant and stay out of the super’s way.  This means waking up super early to shower and get out of the bathroom in case the super drops by semi-unexpectedly to fix the drip in the bathroom.  Because being in the shower when the super stops by sounds too much like a flimsy setup for an adult movie.  “I need you to look at my plumbing…” – let’s not even go there.

LANGUAGE BARRIER – None of the supers I’ve ever had have ever been able to communicate adequately.  Even the ones who speak perfect English.  I’ll call about a problem, say, the hot water in the sink not working, and he’ll promise to come by and check it “on a day that ends in Y.”  He’ll call back and cancel, but you won’t understand why.  He’ll finally come back and ask you to show him the problem.  After an hour of clanking and clanging, he’ll call you in to inspect his work.  He’ll show you how he fixed the drip under the sink.  Uhhhh….thanks, but did you check the hot water?  “No, I have to do that some other time.”

ANGER ISSUES – Call the super to fix a normal standard apartment issue and he’ll act like you’re asking him to return the One Ring to Mordor.  It is my understanding that a building superintendent receives some sort of compensation for fixing issues that arise within a building – whether it be through billable hours, a break on housing, or salaried pay.  Which would mean that fixing things is his job.  And I happen to be of the opinion that if you don’t like your job, it’s better for everyone if you find another job.  Perhaps it’s time to give up “fixing things” and “dealing with tenants” to pursue a career in teaching Junior High Mathematics, or lampmaking.  Especially with lampmaking.  I believe lampmakers set their own hours!

Source: nytimes.com via Meghan-Sara on Pinterest

….yep.  Aaaaaaaany minute now.