Ladies, level with me. When you talk on your iPhone (does anyone still talk on their iPhone?), how do you NOT get it covered in yucky face guck? I’m talking moisturizer, sunscreen, foundation, powder – every time I pull it away from my face to hang up, there’s that ewww moment where I realize that the contents of my face have transferred onto my precious glass slab. And afterwards, fearring that my formerly made-up face now has a blank spot in the shape of a long rectangle.
Does this never happen to you? No? Only me? What do you DO in those moments?
So far, the overwhelming consensus on female iPhone hygiene is the boob wipe.
Take, for instance, my walk today home from therapy (oh, yeah, congrats to you on getting therapy, Meghan! What a strong adult decision you’ve made!), I called my mom afterwards and we talked for about a dozen blocks. When I pulled my phone away from my face, there was an actual puddle on the screen of my phone. With a drip rolling down it.
So what did I do? Crossed my right hand over my heart – I pledge allegiance to Apple Corporation – and wiped it on my left bosom.
Is this because the breasts are the cleanest part of the body? If we entrust them to feed offspring, and attract a mate, does it then follow that they should also sanitize our electronics? Why not the front of the pants, which is know as the “lap” or “napkin” or “lap-kin” region?
Don’t be shy. Let me know if you do this.
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