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| Lotsa whiskey. My boyfriend is a whiskey man. Whiskey declined to be interviewed. |
Meghan Sara: Hi, everybody. This Saturday, I thought we’d try something a little different, and introduce you to the ladies in my liquor cabinet. We’ve got White Wine, here. White Wine, how are you doing?
White Wine: Huh? What was the question?
MS: White Wine…are you texting your ex?
WW: Don’t worry about it. Here, I finished your taxes.
MS: You finished my…wow! How’d you get me a $2,000 refund?
WW: Hmmm….what?
MS: Never mind, you…just…stay out of trouble, okay? Thanks for the taxes.
WW: Checkmate.
MS: Are we playing chess?
WW: *scoff* who’s the drunk one here? *continues texting*
MS: Right. Okay. We’re also joined by Frangelico –
Frangelico: Hi!
MS: …and Bourbon is here as well!
Bourbon: How you doin’.
MS: I’m doing…well…thank you.
Bourbon: You’re pretty.
MS: Thank you?
Bourbon: We should make out.
MS: Um, maybe later.
Frangelico: What are we doing?
Bourbon: Wanna make out?
Frangelico: YES! That’s a great idea!
Bourbon: All right!
Frangelico: Or how about THIS idea: we write a screenplay about what would happen if we made out? Then made a black-and-white mumblecore movie about it?
Bourbon: Why don’t we just make out??
Frangelico: Oh! Sorry! I’m great with ideas, I’m just terrible at follow-through! Ha ha! Whoopsie!
MS: …and also joining us today is Vodka…
Vodka: Yeah, about that…
MS: Yes, Vodka? What’s wrong?
Vodka: I don’t think I can handle this right now.
MS: What do you mean?
Vodka: I mean… things are just too real, right? Like, too intense? I can’t even right now?
MS: Okay…and for a special treat, Champagne is here!
Champagne: Enchante, cheri!
MS: Champagne, tell our readers a little about yourself.
Champagne: Oui, I would like to tell you a story. Music, please?
MS: Where did the pianist come from?
Champagne: Hush, darling, I’m having un petit monologue.
Bourbon: She’s hot. Maybe she wants to make out.
MS: Uh, let’s cut this off here. Vodka is crying and locked herself in the bathroom for some reason, and Frangelico has started dismantling the liquor cabinet.
Frangelico: I’ll put it back together again, I’ll promise! Uhhh…tomorrow. Zzzzzzzz…
MS: …Great. Well, it looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me. This was fun. Thanks for joining us! From the Liquor Cabinet, or what’s left of it, Good Night, everybody!
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