Interview With My Liquor Cabinet

Lotsa whiskey.  My boyfriend is a whiskey man.  Whiskey declined to be interviewed.

Meghan Sara:  Hi, everybody.  This Saturday, I thought we’d try something a little different, and introduce you to the ladies in my liquor cabinet.  We’ve got White Wine, here.  White Wine, how are you doing?

White Wine:  Huh?  What was the question?

MS:  White Wine…are you texting your ex?

WW:  Don’t worry about it.  Here, I finished your taxes.

MS:  You finished my…wow!  How’d you get me a $2,000 refund?

WW:  Hmmm….what?

MS:  Never mind, you…just…stay out of trouble, okay?  Thanks for the taxes.

WW:  Checkmate.

MS:  Are we playing chess?

WW:  *scoff* who’s the drunk one here? *continues texting*

MS:  Right.  Okay.  We’re also joined by Frangelico –

Frangelico:  Hi!

MS:  …and Bourbon is here as well!

Bourbon:  How you doin’.

MS:  I’m doing…well…thank you.

Bourbon:  You’re pretty.

MS:  Thank you?

Bourbon:  We should make out.

MS:  Um, maybe later.

Frangelico:  What are we doing?

Bourbon:  Wanna make out?

Frangelico:  YES!  That’s a great idea!

Bourbon:  All right!

Frangelico:  Or how about THIS idea:  we write a screenplay about what would happen if we made out?  Then made a black-and-white mumblecore movie about it?

Bourbon:  Why don’t we just make out??

Frangelico:  Oh!  Sorry!  I’m great with ideas, I’m just terrible at follow-through!  Ha ha!  Whoopsie!

MS:  …and also joining us today is Vodka…

Vodka:  Yeah, about that…
MS:  Yes, Vodka?  What’s wrong?

Vodka:  I don’t think I can handle this right now.

MS:  What do you mean?

Vodka:  I mean… things are just too real, right?  Like, too intense?  I can’t even right now?

MS:  Okay…and for a special treat, Champagne is here!

Champagne:  Enchante, cheri!

MS:  Champagne, tell our readers a little about yourself.

Champagne:  Oui, I would like to tell you a story.  Music, please?

MS:  Where did the pianist come from?

Champagne:  Hush, darling, I’m having un petit monologue.

Bourbon:  She’s hot.  Maybe she wants to make out.

MS:  Uh, let’s cut this off here.  Vodka is crying and locked herself in the bathroom for some reason, and Frangelico has started dismantling the liquor cabinet.

Frangelico:  I’ll put it back together again, I’ll promise!  Uhhh…tomorrow.  Zzzzzzzz…

MS:  …Great.  Well, it looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.  This was fun.  Thanks for joining us!  From the Liquor Cabinet, or what’s left of it, Good Night, everybody!

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