Typically celebrated on December 5th, Krampus is like the anti-Christmas. See, while jolly old St Nick brings presents for good little girls and boys, dear old Krampus comes along to punish the naughty ones – dragging them to his underworldly lair by their pigtails and suspenders and making them his slaves for all eternity. And you thought that lump of coal was bad. Makes you appreciate fossil fuels in your stocking, huh?
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout, I’m telling you why
Krampus will drag you into the underworld and make you his slave for all eternity because fuck you, that’s why
I’m looking at you, tourists.