Tampocalypse Now

In about a month, I’ll be 29 years old.  That’s practically an adult! One of the things I am most proud of as an adult is never running out of the essentials.  I have managed to, since moving out “on my own,” have a never-ending supply of toilet paper, peanut butter and…tampons.

Here’s an unashamed look at the contents of that zippered pocket in my purse. It makes me wonder, am I an addict? U by Kotex was BOGO at Rite Aid!

I always have more tampons on hand than one could conceivably (or not conceivably, hah hah get it?) need.  Not only that:

I was switching purses the other day, emptying the contents from one to another, and noticed that I had tampons in Every.  Single.  Pocket.  of my old purse!  Tampons of every size, brand, and variety.  A tampon for all seasons!  Enough tampons so that, in the case of a tampon emergency, a Tampocalypse, I could go about my business completely unhampered!

In the event of some Day After Tam-orrow situation, where the island of Manhattan fell prey to extreme flooding, I would go down to the Hudson and simply open my purse, brandishing the full power of my absorbent stockpile, and save the city and its residents!

The moral of my story is:  if you ever find yourself in need, ASK ME.  I have the tampons on hand that you need.  Like some kind of weird drug peddler, I’m always carrying.  Tampons.  Like a boss.