Have you guys tried this ZzzQuil stuff yet?
I’ve been so excited ever since I’ve heard of its existence. Why, just 15mL of this stuff will knock you out, and for six hours, you’re Jessica Simpson, renting a bedroom with three walls and pink furniture that doesn’t match in style, with an open wall facing the back of Lincoln Center, where a street gang of homeless led by characters from the Peanuts Gang have decided that they must drown you to death in a jet ski race to ensure a good corn harvest.
Then you wake up with your pajamas on backwards, the pillows on the floor, and all but one of your blankets twisted up next to you, six hours later, confused and somehow thinking, “This is a story, called “The Lottery”. I should look that up on Wikipedia.” And sure enough, your literary subconscious has categorized the dream.
ZzzQuil is available at finer drug stores everywhere.