Bad Dog

 

All dogs go to Heaven, don’t they?

 

If that’s true, maybe there’s a special section for Bad Dogs.

 

Do you know what Bad Dog Heaven is like?

 

 

Bad Dog Heaven is made of laps. LAPS. Laps to jump on! Laps to curl up in! Laps to stand on while swatting away phones/glasses of wine/food/anything of null importance. Everything is laps!

 

 

If Regular Heaven is made up of clouds, then Bad Dog Heaven is a fluffy quilt of laps. Just laps.

 

 

Laps and maybe a face to stare into, intently.

 

 

Intently.

 

 

 

In Bad Dog Heaven, every day is Christmas. Yes, Christmas.

 

 

It’s not awkward or weird, just go with it. Every day is Christmas.

 

And every toy is just for you.

 

 

It’s probably a Boo Boo Bear. With an everlasting squeak.

 

 

For the record, friends don’t need noses. Just squeaks.

 

 

In Bad Dog Heaven, every ball is Brand New. Nobody tries to pass off that trick of going to the ball shelf with an old ball in your hand and trying to pass off a used ball as a Brand New ball.

 

 

In Bad Dog Heaven, Fetch Happens.

 

 

 

In Bad Dog Heaven, everydog can drive (if they have a license) (doesn’t matter what kind of license).

 

 

In Bad Dog Heaven, nobody makes you look ridiculous in pictures.

 

 

In Bad Dog Heaven, everydog is allowed on the furniture, whenever they want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait.

 

 

What’s all this I’m hearing about Bad dogs?

 

 

I don’t see any bad dogs here!

 

 

Just perfectly behaved puppies!

 

 

(Who are maybe just a little misunderstood).

 

 

They’re all good dogs.

 

 

The End.