Pockets in Pajamas

People, we have a lot of fun on this blog. But now, I need to address a serious issue.

We need pockets. In pajamas. And we need them. Yesterday.

Well, specifically, we need them a month ago. It was around a month ago when I was doing laundry in my pajamas… as you do! I mean, laundry is in the basement of my building, and the whole point of the “laundry” thing is that my clothes are all dirty. My pajamas, as you can imagine, do not have pockets. Specifically, I was wearing a pair of cotton drawstring pants and a t-shirt. I had my hands full with detergent, my keys, and my wallet with my laundry card in it, so I did what you do: I stuck my phone in the waistband of my pants, so I could continue to listen to my podcast wearing headphones.

Mistake.

As I was juggling items, I dropped my keys. Bending over to pick them up, the phone slipped out of my pocket and fell, yanking the earbud out of my ear and falling to the ground. It fell SO HARD Y’ALL, that the headphone jack snapped off the cord and completely broke my headphones! I was heartbroken! I’d just gotten them for Christmas! Waaahhhhh!!

Pajamas need pockets. PANTS pockets. DEEP pockets. FUNCTIONAL pockets. Look, a lady who lounges can’t be carrying a purse all over the place with her to hold her phone! I need somewhere to stash my phone so I can listen to podcasts while I wash dishes, brush my teeth, do my once-monthly deep clean of the apartment!

And you may say, Meghan, what about pajama shirts with pockets? I tell you, dear reader, that shirt pockets are almost worse than no pockets at all. Bend over with your phone in your shirt pocket and you’ll see what I mean. It is completely impractical to take laundry out of a dryer, put dishes away in a cupboard below the counter, or *shudder* scrub a toilet with a phone in a shirt pocket. The hubris alone of thinking you can keep a phone in your shirt pocket and do *anything* more physically demanding than practice walking around with a book on your head? I ask you.

What I’m seriously considering is a Fanny Pack. For carrying things down to the laundry room, for holding my phone while I do chores and cook, something to make my phone experience hands-free. I’m honestly giving thought to buying a strap-on pocket. People, people, people! If there could just be ~pockets in pajamas~, this wouldn’t be necessary!