I Have To Admit, It’s Getting Better…


… the spam comments I receive on this blog, that is.


Some days, it feels like the only people who even bother reading this are my mother (hello, MOM) and the spam commenters who leave stuff on my blog like :



and like :



come to think about it, I’ve actually gotten a total of FOUR spam comments from dudes explaining, in the exact same words, why they’re “Boycotting American Women!” I mean…gosh!  Are they commenting on all y’all’s blogs, too? Or is it just me, just lucky me, the exemplary example of the kind of “American Woman” they’re boycotting? Did I, and my comedy writing, inspire four men to take the red pill and give up American women for good? I feel two kinda ways about that:


  1. Awesome. I have a powerful effect on shitty men. and —
  2. American Women: I have driven them away. I. Me. Myself. You’re welcome.


But after deleting those comments from my spam folder, I started seeing a new kind of spam. Like the springtime thawing the harsh winter, or the beautiful butterfly emerging from it’s gross caterpillar spit cocoon (that’s caterpillar spit, right? Fact check me, science).


Spam like this:

Blush, blush! Me, famous? I’ll take “pleasant articles” — Thank you!


and THIS:


I mean, this is so OBVIOUSLY spam, but at the same time, it’s so gentle! And complimentary! If I were to compile my blogs into a book, I would absolutely use this blurb on the front cover: “genuinely pleasant funny stuff.” Woweee! That’s a stellar review! High praise!


You know, it could be worse.


can of Spam via Wikipedia


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