You may think it ironic, seeing as how i love Law & Order so much, but i have a deep fear and loathing of cops. It’s not personal, i’ve just never had a good conversation with a cop before! Also, my somewhat anarchist tendencies leave me with mistrust for authority.
So there I am with my lantern and my microphone, smiling at any and all passers-by on the chance that they could be my charges for the evening. One hour on the corner later, it seems as though they won’t be able to make it. This cop comes up to me and I panic.
“Is this what it looks like?” I freeze. What are you supposed to say? “A walking tour with horror undertones?”
Relief. “Yes, this is EXACTLY what it looks like!” Turns out, this particular member of New York’s Finest is a huge fan or the paranormal. He asks me where I’m from. He tries to guess my name (Linda – should I be flattered or insulted?). And then, he asks me what I’m doing now that my tour is apparently cancelled.
“Uh, you know, go home, have dinner.”
“Oh yeah? What’s for dinner?” Cringe. Is he really going to invite himself to my house for dinner?
“Well, maybe I’ll wait for my boyfriend to come home and we’ll order in.”
“Oh.”
“Well, check out our website, it was nice meeting you, Officer…” “Frank!” “Officer Frank.” “Maybe you’ll see me soon…on one of your tours!” “Yeah, okay, bye!”
I walk down into the subway, and a familiar voice calls after me.
“Meghan! Hey, Meghan! Let me swipe you into the subway – do you have unlimited?”
“Of course, Frank!” I wave my MetroCard at him. “I’m a tour guide, remember?”
So maybe, in addition to the hat thing, my real superpower is making random guys fall weirdly in love with me.
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*Sigh* someday…
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