Stop Making Me Cry!


‘Tis the season for RAMPANT HIGH EMOTIONS!


Sure, you can *try* to avoid the Christmas Cry-ies by not tuning into those schlocky Hallmark movies where Flannel Clad Single Dad teaches High-Powered High-Maintenance City Woman the *True*Meaning*Of*Christmas. You can avoid listening to “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” or any of the Peanuts Christmas music (damn YOUUUU, Vince Guaraldi Trio!). But you will be risking your mascara just by turning on the television, because TIS THE SEASON FOR GUT-WRENCHING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS.







Now, I am no stranger to crying at commercials. Basically, any commercial that heavily features a dog? I guarantee you I will cry at that. Oh, commercials about teachers being thanked for their hard work and sacrifice? Yeah, those too. And commercials about Elton John?


Okay so let me just ask, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???? Or, as the Last Podcast team would say, “Qui bono, who benefits?” and I honestly don’t know. Does making people cry boost sales? Do companies just love lobbing huge sums of money at commercial airtime just knowing that they’ll make overly-emotional humans sob into the pot of hummus on their laps? Like, I don’t honestly know. What I don’t appreciate is that my leisure-TV-unwind-time has become emotional-land-mine-time.

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