I… think I had a sexy dream?
In my dream, I was cast as an extra in a music video for a young chanteuse. My job, along with the other extras, was to lie on the ground while the singer, wearing black Doc Martens, stepped on us lightly while performing her song.
And… I kinda liked it?
So at the end of the shoot, I tried to chat with her, but she totally blew me off. Well, first, she smiled at me pityingly, showing off a full mouth of braces with blue bands on them, then she shot me down. BANG BANG!
So when I woke up, I remembered this dream and I thought to myself… “Maaaaaaybe I have a fetish? A gentle stepping fetish? Or, more broadly, have some repressed urge to be dominated by a soft butch woman I have yet to meet, and I never realized it until my subconscious played the image out for me in a dream?”
But thinking more metaphorically, I think maybe the dream was hinting at something else.
So my therapist recommended me a book called Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody, which I started reading right before out most recent session, and HOLY CRAP! Basically, everything I read on the first 35 pages resonated with me. I had begun, while reading, turning over the corners of pages where I found lines that struck a nerve, but after turning over EVERY SINGLE PAGE, I realized I’d need to go back in with a highlighter or something. I’m certainly going to write a separate post about the book when I’m finished with it, but for now, back to the boots.
ANYWAY, it talked about how Love Addicts will basically, elevate the object of their addiction to God-like status. Blinded by adoration, they become experts at seeing only what they want to see, and ignoring reality. Especially as the Avoidance Addict — the toxic partner of the Love Addict — starts to treat them like crap. And I was folding corners over like “Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!”
So was this dream actually a wake up call? To myself? For letting the people I “like-like” walk all over me?
Or is this just an innocent, fun, slightly kinky sex dream?
Time will tell.
boots via Wikimedia Commons