Egg Sandwiches! In The Microwave!

Ok everybody — it’s official! EVEYBODY’S cooking eggs in the microwave now!

*EVEYBODY = Matty Matheson, the COOLEST celebrity chef whomst I am low-key enamored with.

It’s been a hot damn while since I’ve talked about eggs in the microwave, and now “eggs in the microwave” are sort of having like a cultural moment, so I feel like it’s the perfect time to tell you that I’ve found a new favourite eggs in the microwave recipe (yes, I’m still making my two eggs with soy chorizo every morning, and often with cheese sprinkled on top, but that is my DAILY ROUTINE). So when I tell you that I’ve found something I love EVEN BETTER, you’d better start to get REALLY EXCITED for this next paragraph….

New Yorkers *love* their egg sandwiches. Yes, more than pretzels. Maybe, even… more than pizza. The BEC — or Bacon, Egg, & Cheese — is a ubiquitous breakfast staple. Best purchased from a breakfast cart, alongside a giant paper cup of coffee for a *shocking fraction* of the Starbucks fare. Or, failing that, from your local deli/bodega.

The BEC is typically served on a roll, cut in half, wrapped in paper, and devoured as you swipe into your morning commute. Well, I’m a gluten-free vegetarian, so I had to make a few swaps and substitutions. Also, I’m fucking glamorous as fuck, so I fancied mine up a whole heck of a lot with cheese and a spicy mayo blend. Mmm, I’m already craving one!

Here’s what I use:

• a small bowl (the base of which should be smaller than the size of your bread)
• one egg (yeah, one egg. two eggs is too much for one sandwich!)
• two slices of Trader Joe’s Gluten-Free Bread
• one slice of provolone cheese
• Kewpie mayo
• Sriracha
• salt & pepper
• a microwave. This is the entire point. Oh my god.

Here’s EXACTLY what I do, in order:

First, I set up my bread slices for success: a liberal dousing of Kewpie mayo and a healthy drizzle of Sriracha on each slice, cuz Some Like It Hot And Coincidentally, So Do I. Then, I’ll take my single slice of provolone, tear it in half (why are cheese slices ENORMOUS these days???), and arrange half the cheese on each slice.

Next, I go to work on my eggs. Cracking a single egg into the small bowl (or large mug! A large mug would give you the circle of cooked egg to sit perfectly happily on your bread!), I add salt and pepper before whisking with a fork. I will microwave this on high for one minute and ten seconds.

Now is when the magic happens! When that egg is done in the microwave, it’s HOT AS HELL so be careful when removing the dish from the microwave! Working quickly, I use a clean fork to loosen the egg in one whole piece from the dish it was cooked in. Now I have a perfect little eggy disk to slide between my cheesy slices of bread, and I let this sit for just a liiiiiittle while to allow the hot hot hot eggs to melt the cheese. And that’s it!

I know that the BEC is a New York tradition, but I’m anything but traditional, and believe that traditions are made to be fucked with, so you can feel free to use your own special ingredients rather than follow my foolproof formula to the letter. Add whatever you like to this sandwich! I’ve done the hard part (cooking the eggs) for you. You’re free! Fly, little birds! Fly, fueled by tasty, spicy egg sandwiches that come together in 3 minutes or less!