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Paradise Lost
You know I’m #TeamCorn. Corinne Olympios was the “villain” of Nick’s season of The Bachelor. Although, in my opinion, NICK was the villain of Nick’s season of The Bachelor, but, you know, bygones. Just had a near death experience in the paper goods isle at target. It was very dramatic — Corinne olympios (@CorinneOly) May 5, 2017 I…
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Good News! We Are ALL All Stars
Hey! How are you? Staying cool, I hope? This week has been brutal. And before we get to World News, here’s the News with me: This week started off really great. Last weekend – Saturday – I went thrifting with my boyfriend and found a couple great dresses and a HUUUUUGE hat (you’ll see it, don’t…
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The Barkchelorette
Oh hi, it’s me. Copper. I know you’ve only just met me in Episode 1 of Season 13 of The Bachelorette, but I’ve known Rachel Lindsay for a long time. We’ve spent more time together than Rachel & Fred did during their camp days. Rachel told Fred, “You always remember the bad ones.” But I’m not one…
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Good News: Some Things Shouldn’t Make Me Laugh (But They Do)
First of all, please go to this website and watch the video of the doggo who learned how to eat whipped cream straight from the canister. GO! And now for the obvious joke: “What breed of dog is this? Is she a “WHIP-IT?” Omg sometimes my brilliance hurts, it really hurts. You’re in for a…
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I Wasn’t “Counting On” Loving This Duggar Spinoff But, Well, Here We Are
Before you click through, rolling your eyes and scoffing Meghan, come on, what are you thinking?, you should hear me out on this one. And know, too, that I have always found 19 Kids and Counting extremely difficult to watch. The hallmarks of 19KaC didn’t make for very good entertainment, so I thought. Once the initial shock of such a…
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Good News 4/20 Edition
Eerrrrrrrffffffff you guys. This week has been realllllly rough, in such a vague way, I can’t even explain it! You know that I spent Sunday (and a bit of Monday) throwing up and not being able to eat anything and having a terrible headache. Tuesday I tried to re-dye my hair and failed! It just…
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Alternate Bachelor Realities
It’s like The Bachelor, but it takes place inside an IKEA. It’s like The Bachelor, but with even more than three token non-white minority contestants. It’s like The Bachelor, but it’s about picking the perfect houseplant. It’s like The Bachelor, but with fluid sexuality and gender identities. It’s like The Bachelor, but for picking a…
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Currently… in March 2017
FEELING: Excited and inspired. I’ve been working for the past …well, a little over a week… nonstop at the studio I was working at a few months ago. I love love love it. It’s so much fun helping out, and every day I get asked to do something that scares me: power tools, tiny details, complicated maneuvers……
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GOOD NEWS! Rosé-Filled Glasses Edition
Hey hey! What a rollercoaster this week has been! I got my period early — ON VALENTINE’S DAY! — and it was the most painful one I’ve had in a few cycles. But I’m glad it came early, because it was supposed to come this weekend, and this weekend I’m flying to California! Yay! I’m…
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Nobody’s Having Fun On The Bachelor 21.6 — Not Even In “Paradise.”
Theory: Nick doesn’t want LOVE. He wants MISERY. That’s the only thing that could possibly explain his actions in this episode. But it makes a lot of sense if you consider his actions on Bachelor in Paradise! There, after one date with Amanda, Nick decided that they belonged together. Which would’ve been awesome, had Amanda felt the same way.…
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When The Bachelor 21.5 Stops Being Escapist Fun And Starts Becoming A Metaphor For America’s Almost-Certain Doom
The Bachelor used to be my escapism. Used to be. Maybe it’s just the greige-colored glasses I’ve been wearing since Jan. 20th, but this week’s episode just reminded me constantly that we — America — are totally, royally, hopelessly fucked. Let’s look at this season of The Bachelor so far as a parable for America: America, like The…
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GOOD NEWS! We survived another week! Let’s “Stick It To The Man”!
Wow! What a week! This week was INTENSE and it all started on Sunday, with the #NoBanNoWall march in NYC. On Monday, I went to a Rise & Resist meeting which was very educational! On Tuesday, I needed an outlet for my rage so I danced it out at No Lights, No Lycra. Wednesday morning,…
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The Bachelor 21.4 aka “Corinntervention” aka WHAT IS ‘REAL’?!?
Why is this show so LONG and so BORING? I don’t remember Ben’s season being this boring. I don’t remember Jojo’s season being this boring. Maybe it’s just harder to care about The Bachelor when the whole world is literally on fire. Anyway. This was the drama-filled, having-it-out, ‘if-Corinne-gets-a-rose-I’m-leaving’ episode we were promised with the teasers. Unfortunately…
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The Bachelor 21.3: in which I defend Corrine because don’t hate the player, hate the game, and the name of the game is CATTINESS
Corrine, Corrine, Corrine. That was the title of this past week’s episode, right? After the whole “Liz” thing, the ladies in the house find themselves without a united enemy, and so, they choose Corrine. Corrine took her top off at the photo shoot (where another girl was also topless)! Corrine interrupts other girls’ time with…
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The Bachelor 21.2: The One Where HEY did you know that Liz slept with Nick at Jade & Tanner’s Wedding????
Let’s be honest: The Bachelor is a long show where not much actually happens. Each episode is approximately two hours long, and until the point where we can list all the contestants off the top of our head, we don’t really care what happens. So it becomes necessary to pad out the episode. In this case,…
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The Bachelor Season 21 Ep. 1 Recap: “In A World Full Of Red Dresses, Be A Shark.” Or Dolphin. Or Don’t. Actually, Just BE YOURSELF
In the world of reality TV dating shows, it’s really important to stand out, be memorable. Ideally, you don’t want to be memorable as being the mumbly, annoying guy who came in second place three times. As I told my boyfriend last night while he watched the show with me (yeah, I don’t have a…