RHONY or GTFO

  The Real Housewives franchise. Truly, has there been any other that has spawned quite so many spin-offs? Indeed, the entire Bravo network might now be more realistically dubbed The Real Housewives Channel, as that’s their main bread and butter. In the beginning, the format did not appeal to me. I was[…]

Run, Hannah, Run! Why Luke on #TheBachelorette Scares the Shit Out Of Me

  I’m constantly triggered watching The Bachelorette because Luke — the “Bad Boy” of the season — is not only constantly picking fights with other contestants, he’s behaving towards Hannah with classic traits of a stalker.   For one thing, I take you back to the Man Pageant episode at the very[…]

“Four Weddings” Is The Best Reality Show Because It Brings Out The Worst In Everyone

  In case you didn’t know, Four Weddings is on Hulu. Go, go, go!   There was a time in cable television when we went absolutely bonkers for wedding-related content, running the spectrum from the saccharine Say Yes to the Dress to the hate-watch Bridezillas. Does anyone remember Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? Because I DO. I lapped up every program[…]

Quite The SUR-prise

  Okay, the first time I heard about the reality show Vanderpump Rules, I thought it was a joke.   It’s a soap opera surrounding the bed-hopping staff of a restaurant owned by a Real Housewife.   I, a connoisSUR of reality TV of the lowest order, refused to lower myself to watch[…]

Is It Time To “Eliminate” Reality TV Dating Shows For Good?

  It’s not me, it’s them.   I’m having relationship trouble with reality TV dating shows. It’s a very unhealthy relationship, you see. They make me so upset, but I can’t stay away. Take, for example, my latest new addiction: Paradise Hotel on Fox. Which was cancelled-ish after 4 episodes. I mean, -ish. The show[…]

Reality Can Be Harsh

  As I sit here watching I Wanna Marry “Harry,” the FOX reality show where 12 American women vie for the heart of a man they’ve been led to believe is Prince Harry, it occurs to me how mean reality television used to be.   Nowadays, the biggest reality TV program is, without question, Keeping[…]

True Crime Meets Truly Funny: American Vandal

  I don’t know who recommended this show to me (I think I saw glowing reviews on Twitter?) , but it is AWESOME. American Vandal is Serial (the podcast) meets 90210, Making a Murderer meets Christopher Guest movies.   The editing & score are a perfect parody of Making A Murderer. The narration’s tone and timbre perfectly mocks[…]

People Who Have People Are The POOSHiest People

  It’s soooo easy to make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP. Soo easy. TOO easy! It’s almost boring! Goop has been around since September 2008, and at this point, it’s almost impossible to poke fun at or parody the concept without instantly becoming a hackneyed, tired cliché.   Enter Kourtney Kardashian… and… POOSH.[…]

⚡ Safe Spaces & Trigger Warnings ⚡

  In my experience, the people who are most vocal in their objections to Safe Spaces and Trigger Warnings are the exact same people who are fortunate enough to not need Safe Spaces or Trigger Warnings.   The way I understand it, Safe Spaces are a thing I can’t imagine anyone objecting[…]

FUSHTRATED

  I loooove reality TV. Like, I’m PASSIONATE about it. I’ve watched COUNTLESS shows of ALL DIFFERENT kinds: Dating shows. Celebreality shows. Cooking competitions, dancing competitions, modeling competitions, wedding dress purchasing competitions …   Now usually, when you’re super passionate about something, NATURALLY, you might consider participating in it yourself![…]

Who’s “Ready” for The Bachelor??

  Bachelor spoilers ahead!   It happens every season: after a certain point, the “fun” contestants have all departed, yet we still keep watching for some reason cuz we wanna see which Lauren B the Bachelor will stand on a beach and bequeath the Neil Lane diamond to. And I’m pretty sure,[…]

Maybe Charlotte Was The Real Miranda All Along

  I’ve recently been re-re-re-rewatching Sex and the City with my reluctant but resigned boyfriend. Yeah, we’ve been using his HBO GO subscription to switch between that, and Entourage. Early-00’s nostalgia is at its absolute PEAK around here, as is our NY-vs-LA struggle for supremacy. And maybe it’s the wisdom of my[…]

A Tale of Two Fyre Fest Docs

  Unless you’ve been living on a deserted island in the Bahamas, in a former FEMA tent, subsisting on cheese sandwiches, you’re aware — aware that there are TWO competing documentaries about Fyre Festival for you to enjoy.   Some news outlets will pit the two against each other. Some[…]

Stop Making Me Cry!

  ‘Tis the season for RAMPANT HIGH EMOTIONS!   Sure, you can *try* to avoid the Christmas Cry-ies by not tuning into those schlocky Hallmark movies where Flannel Clad Single Dad teaches High-Powered High-Maintenance City Woman the *True*Meaning*Of*Christmas. You can avoid listening to “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” or any[…]

Kitchen Nightmares, Sweet Dreams

  I’m a CHAMPION sleeper. I’m asleep by 9pm most nights, and wake up by 6am most morning for work. I sleep SOUNDLY, have graphic DREAMS (which I journal, obviously!) and — compared to so many of my peers who struggle with sleep — I consider myself lucky that I’m[…]

Hate-Watching “Snog, Marry, Avoid”

  Generally speaking, I’m not a huge fan of makeover shows anyway. in the Venn Diagram of “Things I Hate” and “Things I Watch Ironically,” “Makeover Shows” stay squarely in the former category. Maybe it’s the little girl inside me, who remembers being forced to wear way-too-uncomfortable tights with dresses,[…]

I Love Hate Clicks (And You Can’t Stop Me)

  Yes, I read the blog post. The one everyone was talking about: Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Who’ve Never Spoken To Anyone Outside Their Immediate Family, by The Brainwashed Wife. I kid, I kid! But you know the one. Look, far be it from me to criticize someone for blogging their unpopular[…]