PLASTIC BAG BAN!!!

  True Story: the first time I visited Brooklyn, it disgusted me.   I have a sharp, distinct memory of walking past industrial spaces hemmed in with barbed-wire fences, topped with stringy… wet… flapping… dirty… plastic bags. Tattered and tangled inextricably around the foreboding spiked fences. I don’t remember the neighborhood —[…]

Enough On My Shoulders

  The recent news cycle has been draining. The recent abortion bans in Georgia, Alabama, Ohio. Every day, my entire social media feed is dominated by stories of desperate women whose lives ended in pursuit of reproductive freedom. Horrifying tales of 11-year olds forced to carry their rapists’ babies to term, women[…]

⚡ Safe Spaces & Trigger Warnings ⚡

  In my experience, the people who are most vocal in their objections to Safe Spaces and Trigger Warnings are the exact same people who are fortunate enough to not need Safe Spaces or Trigger Warnings.   The way I understand it, Safe Spaces are a thing I can’t imagine anyone objecting[…]

MAYO MIXES: Should We? Why DID We?

  You know mayonnaise is a huge part of my #personal brand. It’s all about the THREE M’S: Mayonnaise. Murder. and… Manhattan? I think. Yeah. Good intro.   So I just saw that Heinz — the ketchup company — has introduced these two new “mayo mixes” to the market: MayoMust[…]

New True Crime Faves

  Ok ok ok you know I’ve devoured every true crime podcast and true crime documentary I can get my hands on, and I’m always on the lookout for FRESH MEAT to sink my maudlin teeth into. And boy, have I got some DOOZIES for you today! It’s Wednesday, and[…]

Cultural Appropriation in the Curriculum?

  So the hottest of hot topics this week is VIRGINIA, and how apparently, a rite of passage for college students in Virginia is… blackface??? Both the Governor and the AG of the great state of Virginia have been caught/admitted to it. This story’s been around a while, Twitter has already made[…]

Did I Solve The EARONS / Golden State Killer Case? MAYBE!!!

First things first, let me introduce you to my absolute favorite true crime podcast: Casefile. I have listened to every. single. episode. I’m obsessed. I devoured the entire back catalog of episodes (around 70 at the time I started listening) at work, often when I was alone in the adjacent[…]

The Angriest L Train Interaction I Have Ever Seen

With the possibility that the L train WON’T be shutting down, it’s got me thinking. A lot of people are happy. A lot of people are angry. A lot of people are ambivalent. There’s a lot of people in New York City, and they all have feelings! Most of them —which is a lot of[…]

The L Train Is SAVED!! Maybe.

We’ve been dreading it. Planning around it. Making forced gallows-humor jokes about it. And now… Well, in a bizarrely unilateral move, Gov. (ptooey!) Cuomo announced that there would be no L train shutdown.  Couldn’t have said it any better myself, cryptically ominous subway tile graffiti. In a totally “everything means nothing” move, that bitter pill[…]

Bye Bye “BDE,” 2018 was *REALLY the year of…

  Do You Remember back in early 2018? When we all thought that Big Dick Energy — or BDE — was the “Big Mood” of the year?   BDE symbolized everything that we wanted to project into the world … or so we thought!  Early 2018, we were all younger than[…]

Sunday At Home!!!

  Today…. for the first time in MONTHS… I’m spending an entire day at home.   I’m trying to remember the last time I actually spent an *entire* day at home without working a half-day, or doing a tour, or venturing out to meet my boyfriend. I think it’s really important[…]

Top Ten Reasons You Should Sign Up To Be A Poll Worker!!!

  You know how passionate I am about Workin’ the Polls! This will be my sixth election (and my FIRST in my NEW DISTRICT eeeeEEEeee!!!!)   everybody thanks you for what you’re doing. The long hours, the early wakeup time, the nonstop stream of voters. Everybody THANKS you for your service, but they[…]

Sorry Not Sorry, it’s another blog about Aziz Ansari

  Everybody’s weighing in on Aziz Ansari with their opinions! So I’m going to weigh in on Aziz Ansari and say that MY OPINION is that everyone should stop fucking weighing in on Aziz Ansari with their fucking opinions.   Let’s clarify:   IMHO, the rush to declare that Aziz[…]

Cover It Up

  Hey, editors of various noteworthy publications: I have a request.   PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop putting that guy on your cover. You know the one I mean.   He already thinks the world revolves around him — — please stop giving him the impression that he does. You know how, when a[…]

Don’t Get Pissed, But Your “Fearless Girl” Is Bullshit

  I know I know, you’re already angry at my title — but what is being “fearless” if not standing up for what’s right, even if it’s unpopular? I love you all, I love Intersectional Feminism, and that is why I cannot stand by Fearless Girl.   I know you’re[…]

I Got The Power

I wanted to pop in a week after this post and give you an update on my medical situation, but since then, the health and welfare of the entire country has gone critical. I can’t believe it actually happened, but Tr*mpcare passed the HOR. REALLY?! I mean, HOW?!? We have to stop this from passing the Senate. I’m[…]

You Got Me, Babe

Ok I said it like five months ago that May was gonna be the month that Tr*mp was impeached. And y’all, it is just taking way too long. America is getting scarier and worse by the day. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for you to impeach him? Well,[…]

Let The People Live

1 Day post-Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino — is the world really that much worse for having had the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino? Yep, this is a piece about the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino.   Everybody’s been fuh-reeeeking out about it. It has sugar! It’s Insta-bait! It’s…trendy? It’s marketed towards women which automatically make it ripe for mockery. TRUTHFACTS!  […]

Good News! Obamacare Lives to Die Another Day! Also: PUPPIES!

Oh, HELLO! Well, this week has been a ride. Or, to be more specific, it’s been a roller coaster that climbs steadily up and up and up, higher and higher and higher, and then you puke your life out on the way down! Literally. My week had a lot of ups at[…]

So, Microwaves Are Hot Now

Call me #trendy. Microwaves are a trendy topic now, thanks to Kellyanne Conway suggesting that Barack Obama used the common household appliance to spy on Donald J. Trump. If you’re a reader who lives outside America who believes in prayer, feel free to pray for us…. NOW.      Everyone who[…]