NOT THE FACE

    I hate a LOT of things. Fascism. Bacon. That thing where you have to poop really badly but your roommate is in the bathroom and then you hear the shower turn on?   Eeeeeuuuuuuuurrgghhhhh.   But there is ONE THING that I hate more than ANYTHING ELSE in[…]

BACK OFF: An Unpleasant Trader Joe’s Story

  “Personal Space” is a funny concept in New York City. In a municipality where we think nothing of entwining our legs with a stranger’s on the subway to keep our balance on that crowded L train, there are still clearly situations where there is an accepted distance that one[…]

I Wanna Talk About Bras For A Minute

I think that the worst way to gaslight someone would be to steal all their bras and reverse the adjustment of the straps so you make them think that their big titty got bigger and their small titty got smaller and they stand in front of the mirror lookin at[…]

So You Think You Can Bangs

  SO YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT CUTTING SOME BANGS INTO YOUR HAIR??? YOU MIGHT THINK TWICE IF YOU KNEW WHAT BANGS ARE REALLY LIKE…   You Will Never Wear Hats! The hat band will press your bangs down, and suddenly, they will be in your eyes, down to your nose, creeping into your[…]

Venting About MetroCard Vending

  So, over the weekend, MetroCard machines all across the city are getting a software upgrade. For six hours, in the middle of the night, you won’t be able to use a credit or debit card to buy or refill your MetroCard! EEEK! Yeah, you’re probably like, “Who cares?” but[…]

The Pits

  June 26th, 2014: I grammed this gorgeous selfie of yours truly all dressed up for a date. Hair curled, cute sundress, makeup on point. I look amazing, BUT! For the itchy, scaly, oozy, red splotch of psoriasis under my armpit. You can tell I’ve tried my darnedest to filter the living[…]

It’s Getting Hot In Here

  I said aloud, to the clouds: “So THIS is how it’s gonna be from now on, HUH?”   I’m talking, of course, about WINTER. Winter in NYC is funny. As I’ve often said before, it’s summer until it’s winter, and then a switch is FLIPPED. It could be warm[…]