Squeaky Shoes

  The skill that has taken me the longest to hone, and the skill that has served me the best in my everyday life, is the ability to squeak my shoes.   Yes, I have finally mastered the gentle scuff of my Converse against nearly any ground-type surface that elicits[…]

Take My Breath Away, Dahn Vo! at The Guggenheim

  COOL STORY BRO: Four years ago, during my second season giving ghost tours in Lower Manhattan, City Hall Park was overtaken by an installation by Dahn (pronounced “Yon,” I googled it) Vo, called “We The People.” Click the link! Did you click it? So basically, it was life-sized CHUNKS[…]

GOOD NEWS! I *FINALLY* Touched Up My Roots!!!

  So this week was a week off from the studio, and I made myself to-do lists EVERY DAY. At the top of the list was TOUCH UP MY ROOTS. They were getting to be like 2.5 inches long, and it wasn’t the BEST touch-up job (can we say, “polka[…]

Missed Connection (???)

  Have you ever posted a “missed connection”? Have you ever read the “missed connections”? Have you ever missed a connection?   I confess to you, I may have fucked up and missed one, myself.   It was A LONG time ago. Like, the last week of February. It was that one[…]

GOOD NEWS! Congrats to the WINNER of ALL STARS 3!!!

  Hello hello hello!!!   I am *not* revealing (Ru-vealing?) any spoilers, I am just going to say that I was VERY PLEASED with the outcome of All Stars 3, even if I had to pause the episode four minutes and fourteen seconds before the end to take an Anxiety Shit before[…]

😈 Hail, Satan? 😈

  Last Monday, I was in Times Square… THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY.   Just so you get the FULL HORROR of this, I rode from:   Bushwick –> Times Square Times Square –> Ridgewood Ridgewood –> Times Square Times Square –> Ridgewood (Ridgewood –> Bushwick) Bushwick –> Times Square[…]

Venting About MetroCard Vending

  So, over the weekend, MetroCard machines all across the city are getting a software upgrade. For six hours, in the middle of the night, you won’t be able to use a credit or debit card to buy or refill your MetroCard! EEEK! Yeah, you’re probably like, “Who cares?” but[…]

🔥 Don’t Be Alarmed… 🔥

  It is a scientific FACT (probably) — that at any given hour of any given day, in any given neighborhood of New York City, there will be an alarm going off. And any given New Yorker will promptly respond to any given alarm with… annoyance. NOT “alarm.”   Sirens,[…]

⛸️ Ice Skating at Bryant Park!! ⛸️

  Well, I wanted to do this, and I did it!   On a warm, Friday evening, I coerced a friend of mine into skating with me at Bryant Park. I started off desperately clinging to him, forcing him to tow me around the ice (sorry!). But by the time[…]

I’m On A Boat

  Hi, my name is Meghan, and I am depressed. BUT, when life hands me lemons, I like to make lemonade! And when life sends me on work errands to Red Hook, I get to take a cruise.     Yep, a cruise. That’s the way the IKEA express ferry describes it. But in[…]

New York, I ❤️ You (And You ❤️ Me Back)

  Guys, let me tell you about the New Jersey Turnpike.   See, you never really know how much you love something until you lose it. This was how I realized I was stanning Sasha Velour in season 9: when it looked like she might be in danger of having[…]

There’s A Place For Us… 🎶 Somewhere 🎶

  Guess what? I guest-starred on a podcast!   Yes, AGAIN.   My friends at Did You Hear The One…? had me back to tell a LONGER story with A LOT MORE SWEARING!   I told a story about one-night stands, puke, and my favorite thing of all: NEW YORK.[…]

Nothing’s Gonna Change My World

It’s December 9th, and you know what that means. It means that yesterday, I spent NINE AND A HALF HOURS in the cold singing Beatles songs with tourists and fellow fanatics alike. I joke that this is my only religious holiday. Well, no joke. It is. During the daytime, the[…]

Ya Gotta Love The Bodega

  I love New York. New York loves its bodegas. I love New York bodegas! There is nothing but love in the air of bodegas. And some cat dander because, y’know, bodega cats! They keep the pests away. Sometimes, these pests present themselves in the form of tourists who crinkle[…]

This Is Why It Takes Forever To Walk Anywhere In The City In The Rain

  UMBRELLAS. It’s because everyone is carrying umbrellas.   A normal sidewalk is like a stream, and its pedestrians like fish. Foot traffic hinges on the ability of walkers to blithely slither past each other, faster fish weaving and bobbing through schools of slower fish.   Umbrellas, though.   A[…]

All About Autumn

July 16th, 2017. Temperatures are expected to reach a muggy 87 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s the kind of weather that prompts “dads” to joke that you could “fry an egg on the sidewalk,” but given the humidity, it’s more likely that the egg would poach.    It’s the kind of weather[…]

Modern Miss Manners

  I’m old enough to remember being drilled by my elders on the concept of etiquette. I assure you, even as a punk rock baby, I realized most of it was total bullshit. I mean, WHO CARES if you wanna use a tea spoon to eat your soup with? But[…]

SECRETS REVEALED! Why Living In NYC Is *Actually* The Best, For Real

  Pommes Frites will let you taste their sauces before you buy. I’m telling you, their Curry Ketchup is phenomenal! But you don’t have to believe me, just ask them to taste a sample!   We have Central Park. And you don’t.   Nothing is embarrassing here. Everybody lives stacked on top[…]

No Pictures, Please

  It happened after therapy. It happened with my friend. It happened during one of my tours. And it almost happened while running a work errand, but I put my hand up and said “No.”   When I was a kid, somebody told me that “ancient cultures” believed that taking[…]