Brooklyn

Ass To Plastic

  It’s 87º — do you know where your ass is? If you’re one of the literally millions of commuters aboard the NYC MTA, chances are, your sweaty upper thighs and gluteus maximuses are sticking right to the plastic seats aboard your chosen train.

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Ass To Plastic

  It’s 87º — do you know where your ass is? If you’re one of the literally millions of commuters aboard the NYC MTA, chances are, your sweaty upper thighs and gluteus maximuses are sticking right to the plastic seats aboard your chosen train.

/ 2 Comments

Squeaky Shoes

  The skill that has taken me the longest to hone, and the skill that has served me the best in my everyday life, is the ability to squeak my shoes.   Yes, I have finally mastered the gentle scuff

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Squeaky Shoes

  The skill that has taken me the longest to hone, and the skill that has served me the best in my everyday life, is the ability to squeak my shoes.   Yes, I have finally mastered the gentle scuff

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GOOD NEWS! I *FINALLY* Touched Up My Roots!!!

  So this week was a week off from the studio, and I made myself to-do lists EVERY DAY. At the top of the list was TOUCH UP MY ROOTS. They were getting to be like 2.5 inches long, and

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GOOD NEWS! I *FINALLY* Touched Up My Roots!!!

  So this week was a week off from the studio, and I made myself to-do lists EVERY DAY. At the top of the list was TOUCH UP MY ROOTS. They were getting to be like 2.5 inches long, and

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? Hail, Satan? ?

  Last Monday, I was in Times Square… THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY.   Just so you get the FULL HORROR of this, I rode from:   Bushwick –> Times Square Times Square –> Ridgewood Ridgewood –> Times Square Times

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? Hail, Satan? ?

  Last Monday, I was in Times Square… THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY.   Just so you get the FULL HORROR of this, I rode from:   Bushwick –> Times Square Times Square –> Ridgewood Ridgewood –> Times Square Times

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And Not A Zero Fuck Was Given That Day

  I had an EXHAUSTING day on Friday.   I just wanted to share this with you because it was one of those days that I live for, the days where you work yourself past the point of exhaustion to a state

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And Not A Zero Fuck Was Given That Day

  I had an EXHAUSTING day on Friday.   I just wanted to share this with you because it was one of those days that I live for, the days where you work yourself past the point of exhaustion to a state

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Venting About MetroCard Vending

  So, over the weekend, MetroCard machines all across the city are getting a software upgrade. For six hours, in the middle of the night, you won’t be able to use a credit or debit card to buy or refill

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Venting About MetroCard Vending

  So, over the weekend, MetroCard machines all across the city are getting a software upgrade. For six hours, in the middle of the night, you won’t be able to use a credit or debit card to buy or refill

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? Don’t Be Alarmed… ?

  It is a scientific FACT (probably) — that at any given hour of any given day, in any given neighborhood of New York City, there will be an alarm going off. And any given New Yorker will promptly respond

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? Don’t Be Alarmed… ?

  It is a scientific FACT (probably) — that at any given hour of any given day, in any given neighborhood of New York City, there will be an alarm going off. And any given New Yorker will promptly respond

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I’m On A Boat

  Hi, my name is Meghan, and I am depressed. BUT, when life hands me lemons, I like to make lemonade! And when life sends me on work errands to Red Hook, I get to take a cruise.     Yep, a cruise. That’s

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I’m On A Boat

  Hi, my name is Meghan, and I am depressed. BUT, when life hands me lemons, I like to make lemonade! And when life sends me on work errands to Red Hook, I get to take a cruise.     Yep, a cruise. That’s

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There’s A Place For Us… ? Somewhere ?

  Guess what? I guest-starred on a podcast!   Yes, AGAIN.   My friends at Did You Hear The One…? had me back to tell a LONGER story with A LOT MORE SWEARING!   I told a story about one-night

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There’s A Place For Us… ? Somewhere ?

  Guess what? I guest-starred on a podcast!   Yes, AGAIN.   My friends at Did You Hear The One…? had me back to tell a LONGER story with A LOT MORE SWEARING!   I told a story about one-night

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Nice Landing

  After all the upheaval that was the past few months, I think you’ll be happy to hear that I’ve made a rather nice landing.     For example: my landings. Yes, on the landings in between floors of my

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Nice Landing

  After all the upheaval that was the past few months, I think you’ll be happy to hear that I’ve made a rather nice landing.     For example: my landings. Yes, on the landings in between floors of my

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Ya Gotta Love The Bodega

  I love New York. New York loves its bodegas. I love New York bodegas! There is nothing but love in the air of bodegas. And some cat dander because, y’know, bodega cats! They keep the pests away. Sometimes, these

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Ya Gotta Love The Bodega

  I love New York. New York loves its bodegas. I love New York bodegas! There is nothing but love in the air of bodegas. And some cat dander because, y’know, bodega cats! They keep the pests away. Sometimes, these

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Currently… in November 2017

  Well, hello. I guess it’s been awfully quiet around here, huh? Guess I might as well let the cat out of the bag: on October 1st, my boyfriend of 3 1/4 years dumped me. I hate that I’m “that

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Currently… in November 2017

  Well, hello. I guess it’s been awfully quiet around here, huh? Guess I might as well let the cat out of the bag: on October 1st, my boyfriend of 3 1/4 years dumped me. I hate that I’m “that

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Why I Love Being A Poll Worker

  I became a Poll worker because… honestly? I was desperate for a job and I heard they paid decent money. I kind of resented it: the long hours and the complicated procedures. Also, I had never actually voted. But

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Why I Love Being A Poll Worker

  I became a Poll worker because… honestly? I was desperate for a job and I heard they paid decent money. I kind of resented it: the long hours and the complicated procedures. Also, I had never actually voted. But

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This Is Why It Takes Forever To Walk Anywhere In The City In The Rain

  UMBRELLAS. It’s because everyone is carrying umbrellas.   A normal sidewalk is like a stream, and its pedestrians like fish. Foot traffic hinges on the ability of walkers to blithely slither past each other, faster fish weaving and bobbing

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This Is Why It Takes Forever To Walk Anywhere In The City In The Rain

  UMBRELLAS. It’s because everyone is carrying umbrellas.   A normal sidewalk is like a stream, and its pedestrians like fish. Foot traffic hinges on the ability of walkers to blithely slither past each other, faster fish weaving and bobbing

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All About Autumn

July 16th, 2017. Temperatures are expected to reach a muggy 87 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s the kind of weather that prompts “dads” to joke that you could “fry an egg on the sidewalk,” but given the humidity, it’s more likely that

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All About Autumn

July 16th, 2017. Temperatures are expected to reach a muggy 87 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s the kind of weather that prompts “dads” to joke that you could “fry an egg on the sidewalk,” but given the humidity, it’s more likely that

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SECRETS REVEALED! Why Living In NYC Is *Actually* The Best, For Real

  Pommes Frites will let you taste their sauces before you buy. I’m telling you, their Curry Ketchup is phenomenal! But you don’t have to believe me, just ask them to taste a sample!   We have Central Park. And you don’t.

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SECRETS REVEALED! Why Living In NYC Is *Actually* The Best, For Real

  Pommes Frites will let you taste their sauces before you buy. I’m telling you, their Curry Ketchup is phenomenal! But you don’t have to believe me, just ask them to taste a sample!   We have Central Park. And you don’t.

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Angry Birds

And at first it was cute, but now, I’m afraid in my own home.   So I might have mentioned on social media (Twitter, probably, appropriately enough) that a family of small birds has built a nest underneath my kitchen

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Angry Birds

And at first it was cute, but now, I’m afraid in my own home.   So I might have mentioned on social media (Twitter, probably, appropriately enough) that a family of small birds has built a nest underneath my kitchen

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We NEED To Have A Potty Talk

  Hi, strangers. We need to have a talk about potty training. Not for kids… for adults. For YOU.     I would say, seven times out of ten, I walk into a Manhattan public restroom and find piss everywhere. More than

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We NEED To Have A Potty Talk

  Hi, strangers. We need to have a talk about potty training. Not for kids… for adults. For YOU.     I would say, seven times out of ten, I walk into a Manhattan public restroom and find piss everywhere. More than

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True Instagram Stories: The First and Only Time I Have Ever Locked Myself Out Of The House

  This is why you should follow me on Instagram. The End.

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True Instagram Stories: The First and Only Time I Have Ever Locked Myself Out Of The House

  This is why you should follow me on Instagram. The End.

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Yes, I Actually Floated In A Sensory Deprivation Tank (Mostly)

It’s the day after my float, and I want to write down everything while I still have a thin crust of salt in my forearm hairs. So I want it on record that *I* was the one who had this wacky idea

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Yes, I Actually Floated In A Sensory Deprivation Tank (Mostly)

It’s the day after my float, and I want to write down everything while I still have a thin crust of salt in my forearm hairs. So I want it on record that *I* was the one who had this wacky idea

/ 9 Comments