Grok these pants. Go ahead. Grok them fully.   Like any child who grew up in the ’80s — that’ll be the nineteen-eighties, thankyouverymuch — we were taught through our movies, television, books, and music videos to expect certain things from our future: food in pill form: I was a[…]

Hello, My Name Is Meghan, And I Have Eyelid Dandruff.

Did you even know that was A Thing? Neither did I. I didn’t choose the high maintenance life. The high maintencance life chose me. Maybe it’s because, once upon a time, I scoffed at a commercial for some obscure beauty treatment or product. Past Meghan: *Scoff!* “Who needs that?” Then the vindictive forces[…]

God Is Punishing Me… With Puke

Let’s back this thing up.   Over Christmas, you may recall, I found myself vomiting and suffering in the absolute extreme. I thought maybe it was a flu? Or a fluke. One of the two. It wasn’t the first time in my 32-year existence that I’ve been majorly ill on[…]

I Have To Admit, It’s Getting Better…

  … the spam comments I receive on this blog, that is.   Some days, it feels like the only people who even bother reading this are my mother (hello, MOM) and the spam commenters who leave stuff on my blog like :     and like :    […]

Symbolism Of Objects In Selfies

  In classical portraits, the inclusion of certain objects would give the viewers a peek at the personality of the subject. We can stroll the halls of museums and understand much about the lives of those who sat for portraits by the symbolic inclusion of personal effects. Where selfies are[…]

The Dangerous Dance of Avoiding Spoilers

Netflix. Hulu. Amazon Prime. If the late, surprise winter has caught you in a streaming mood, you’re probably looking to get lost in a new television series on one of these platforms. Starting a new relationship with a television show is also fraught with peril, as you now must actively[…]

So, Microwaves Are Hot Now

Call me #trendy. Microwaves are a trendy topic now, thanks to Kellyanne Conway suggesting that Barack Obama used the common household appliance to spy on Donald J. Trump. If you’re a reader who lives outside America who believes in prayer, feel free to pray for us…. NOW.      Everyone who[…]

Problematic Celebrity News Corner

“There’s been a new allegation of rape made against that singer who wrote the song that always gets stuck in your head! This will be the 14th claim of rape made against him. The victim, who shall remain anonymous, confirmed that she was underage at the time when the singer in question[…]

Alternate Bachelor Realities

It’s like The Bachelor, but it takes place inside an IKEA. It’s like The Bachelor, but with even more than three token non-white minority contestants. It’s like The Bachelor, but it’s about picking the perfect houseplant. It’s like The Bachelor, but with fluid sexuality and gender identities. It’s like The[…]

GOOD NEWS! I’m finally going to get ALL THE EMOJIS this weekend!

Happy Friday, everybody! I’m especially excited for THIS WEEKEND because my boyfriend has promised to help me update my phone to the latest iOS! My phone is still on iOS 7.something, because I’m terrified of updating it. This is where my beloved pops his head in and says “THAT’S BECAUSE[…]

GOOD NEWS! Snowflakes for the WIN!

Hey hey hey as I write this for tomorrow I have just found out that the 9th Circuit court D-nied that fuckin’ stupid immigration ban! Suuuuuuuck it, LIBERALS WIN! Speaking of SNOWFLAKES, we got a shit-ton of snow on Thursday (as in TODAY, as we’ve already established that I am[…]

I Prithee, Miladies, Please Don’t Use This Slogan On Your Protest Signs

Ok so it’s Wednesday and we’re all looking forward to The Weekend!, looking forward to going out and supporting Planned Parenthood in Washington Square Park or wherever your local rally for Planned Parenthood is, and as we take to the streets in what I’m hoping will be the Women’s March[…]

The Official February 2017 “What Will Trump Fuck Up Next?” BINGO Card

Twelve days. TWELVE DAYS! It’s been twelve fucking days and while we can’t say that the world is literally on fire, we can’t assume that it won’t start burning tomorrow. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like every waking second is like a slap in the face of all that I[…]

Currently… in February 2017

FEELING:  Hmmmm where do I begin? So, my temporary period of employment has ended, which means back to square one. Since the Inauguration, I’ve been protesting every weekend. It’s hard to think about my own personal future when the future of the world feels closer to crisis than ever before.[…]

Good News! This Week Is Over!… Good News!

Can we somehow reach the Barenaked Ladies for comment on this past week? Because I would hope they’d say something along the lines of “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff to have happen in a week.” or something.   Hi! I’m back again with some good news, and let’s kick[…]

The Beer Fairy

  It looks as though we got a visit from the Beer Fairy today! What do you mean, you’ve never heard the story of the Beer Fairy? Well, gather ’round, kids, let Auntie Meghan tell the tale. The Beer Fairy is as mysterious as s/he is magical. Unlike the Beer[…]

Hoodies: A Love Story

Truly and honestly, is there anything better than a pullover hoodie? A hoodie is a hug that you can wear. A hoodie can make you look like a bear. I could just not resist going Dr. Seuss on you guys, I love hoodies just that much. In fact, I nerded out on[…]