Author: meghan
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Missed Connection (???)
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Have you ever posted a “missed connection”? Have you ever read the “missed connections”? Have you ever missed a connection? I confess to you, I may have fucked up and missed one, myself. It was A LONG time ago. Like, the last week of February. It was that one freakish week that it was…
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A Pox On Arie
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I’m still mad. Yep, hex the shit out of him. For, as I’m learning, men don’t mature. They just become salt-and-pepper human shitbags. You’d think that a man of 36 would be capable of having meaningful relationships? But, no. ICYMI, apparently, Arie (aka “The Worst Bachelor In History”), proposed to Becca K in…
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I Wanna Talk About Bras For A Minute
I think that the worst way to gaslight someone would be to steal all their bras and reverse the adjustment of the straps so you make them think that their big titty got bigger and their small titty got smaller and they stand in front of the mirror lookin at the titties like wtf —…
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GOOD NEWS! Congrats to the WINNER of ALL STARS 3!!!
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Hello hello hello!!! I am *not* revealing (Ru-vealing?) any spoilers, I am just going to say that I was VERY PLEASED with the outcome of All Stars 3, even if I had to pause the episode four minutes and fourteen seconds before the end to take an Anxiety Shit before resuming the episode to watch…
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So Long, Claire’s Accessories
Such childhood, very nostalgia. Sad news, my friends: Claire’s Accessories is said to be going bankrupt. Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone? Claire’s resides in a very special place of my heart, because I’ve never grown out of my Claire’s phase. If I’m…
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So You Think You Can Bangs
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SO YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT CUTTING SOME BANGS INTO YOUR HAIR??? YOU MIGHT THINK TWICE IF YOU KNEW WHAT BANGS ARE REALLY LIKE… You Will Never Wear Hats! The hat band will press your bangs down, and suddenly, they will be in your eyes, down to your nose, creeping into your mouth… no matter HOW short…
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GOOD NEWS! Have Your Pussy and Eat Cake Too
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Ummm, I started this draft when I was on my period and craving cake, and I saw these vulva cupcakes and WOAH. Yes. Yum. Please (via MetroUK). This week (yesterday!) was International Women’s Day, which I have complicated feelings about now? https://twitter.com/void_daddy_/status/971845844289904645 Because I feel like it’s largely co-opted by able-bodied cis white…
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If I Only Had 48 Hours To Live
Yep, I’m a morbid goth kid 4 life. But I think about this a lot: how I want to spend the end of my life. Frankly, it’s a lot easier (for me) to idealize the end of my life, than to imagine or plan for the next five years, fifteen years, FIFTY years. No, I have this morbid…
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For Your Consideration: I Should Be The Bachelorette!
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Attn: ABC, Bachelor Franchise, Chris Harrison, et al: You have a problem. Arie’s season debuted to record low ratings. People are turning away from the franchise in record numbers. You got your asses handed to you by Young Sheldon, for crying out loud! Let’s not even speak of the Bachelor in Paradise. Let’s NOT. Your show needs a new direction.…
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Omelettes – In The Microwave!!!
Backstory: I joined a Facebook community about Depression Meals. What’s a “depression meal,” you ask? Well, according to the group, basically anything that you eat while depressed? There’s a good variety between like really tragic and lazy meals (leftover white rice with ketchup?), decadent “treat yo’self” meals (cakes and sushi!) and very often, baked…
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GOOD NEWS! It’s SHOWTIME!!!
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Oh, hello, there! Tonight is OPENING NIGHT for The Bloody Deed of 1857! I am all kinds of nervous, and I’ve been buzzing about all week long. Which mostly means hanging around on street corners in the East Village, talking aloud to myself about murders that took place in the nineteenth century. PERFECTLY EXPLAINABLE BEHAVIORS OBVIOUSLY.…
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Currently… in March 2018
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FEELING: I’d like to refer you to my previous post for a longer life update! At this moment, beginning of March, I’m in PANIC MODE! The big story THIS WEEK is, I’m in a play this weekend! The Bloody Deed of 1857, brought to you by the same company that puts on my ghost…
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February Kicked My Ass
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February is just a joke anyway, isn’t it? I mean, you’re in this shitty January doldrums and then Valentine’s Day pounces on you out of nowhere! Next thing you know, it’s like “Wow, can you believe it’s MARCH NEXT WEEK???” No, I can’t. And not just because I’ve been in a fever-induced haze for…
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? Hail, Satan? ?
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Last Monday, I was in Times Square… THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY. Just so you get the FULL HORROR of this, I rode from: Bushwick –> Times Square Times Square –> Ridgewood Ridgewood –> Times Square Times Square –> Ridgewood (Ridgewood –> Bushwick) Bushwick –> Times Square Times Square –> home …
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GOOD NEWS! Now Serving Three Looks In One, and SUNDAY BRUNCH!!!
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This week was MADNESS for me over here! I worked a full day Saturday at the studio, then had rehearsal all day Sunday. Monday was a big day for running errands, then a late rehearsal. I “performed” my part of the show for the rest of the cast on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, I…
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And Not A Zero Fuck Was Given That Day
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I had an EXHAUSTING day on Friday. I just wanted to share this with you because it was one of those days that I live for, the days where you work yourself past the point of exhaustion to a state of accomplished *bliss* and everything else melts away. I don’t talk about my job…
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GOOD NEWS! Put The Bass In Your Walk
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This week, a judge awarded over $6M in damages to the artists of 5 Pointz, whose work was painted over by the developers of the high-rise buildings that were being built on the spot where the famed open-air street art collection once stood. YEAAAAAHHHHHH striking one against THE MAN! I was so fortunate to visit 5…
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Wanted: Instagram Bae
Many, many months ago, my former therapist asked me to make a list of qualities that I want in a hypothetical future partner. Many, many months ago, the list looked a lot like this: “1. some ? one ? who ? won’t ? hurt ? me ???…” But it’s been many, many months since then, and I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided that…
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The Walls Have Ears
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I didn’t realize how LOUD I AM until I moved in with roommates. My roommates are AWESOME. They’re very cool. And chill. And quiet. SO QUIET! I never EVER hear ANYTHING at ANY time of the day. They’re great! They’re WONDERFUL! No, the problem is me. I’m afraid that I’m very loud. …
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Venting About MetroCard Vending
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So, over the weekend, MetroCard machines all across the city are getting a software upgrade. For six hours, in the middle of the night, you won’t be able to use a credit or debit card to buy or refill your MetroCard! EEEK! Yeah, you’re probably like, “Who cares?” but that’s only because you’re New…