FEELING:  Nominally better, in general. My RN who prescribes my Escitalopram straight-up DOUBLED my dose for the duration of…. *gestures around at the fuckery* THIS. It is … not sucky. The other day I was blissed-out watching Nadiyas Time to Eat on Netflix and I was so happy to see her holding baby sheep and I realized that honestly, 20mg of Lexapro really fucking does take the edge off. It really does!

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WATCHING: Oh my gosh, okay: first of all, Nadiyas Time to Eat is my chill-vibe, relax the day away viewing. Its about the same tone as Great British Bake-Off but without the drama of somebody maybe getting sent home, and honestly, a lot like old-school Giada deLaurentis vibe, and I love it sooooo much. On the flip side, I watch Nailed It! when I just need a laugh. It is just so sweet and bizarre and Ive laughed til I almost peed a few times. My roommate recommended a documentary called Tickled on Hulu and it was awesome and speaking of awesome, Parasite is on Hulu and Ive been thinking about how good it is ever since I watched it last month. Finally, Ive been watching old seasons of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for escapism, and then Ive been watching the YouTube videos of Buzzfeed Unsolved.

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LISTENING TO:  My usual podcasts: Last Podcast on the Left, Page 7, Bowery Boys, Red Handed, Casefile, and Parcast Networks Crimes of Passion, Supernatural with Ashley Flowers, Female Criminals, and many others. Ive also just discovered Disturbing Interests, which is really interesting and different.

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WORKING ON: My roommate got me involved with Art Makes Masks, which has given me something to do while I have exactly nothing else to do!

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THINKING ABOUT: As little as possible. Really just watering my plants, staying inside, taking my pills, and getting through the day. Oh, an absurd amount of thought and effort has gone into planning meals and shopping trips, as I share a fridge with 3 other people and have about 1 cubic foot of space to store all of my perishables, including condiments, leftovers, cheese, and half & half (dont @ me, its the end of the world). So trying to figure out how to eat, and how to eat relatively healthily, while only going to the grocery store once a week, is a challenge and I am constantly trying to reuse ingredients like: I bought a salad and dressing the other day, and had half a bottle of dressing left over after eating all the salads. Well, to get it out of the fridge, I can use the dressing – which is just oil and seasonings – to marinade veggies to roast! Im going to lose my mind.

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EATING:  Well didnt I just say? Im trying to eat healthier because Ive been having *issues* and that means more veggies and less carbs, which is really not achievable when you dont have a whole lot of access to a fridge. I have been splurging on flavored seltzers, because Im saving so much on transportation and meals out and all the fun things that existed in my *former* life. And White Claw! Dinner every night has been a combination of sauteed kale, Trader Joes soy chorizo, and gluten free pasta with vodka sauce.

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LOOKING FORWARD TO:  I said it last month but…. going outside again? I sputtered out sobbing while listening to The Bowery Boys because I miss being out in my town. I hate that my life has been reduced to this 6ft X 8ft box, or else panicked trips to the grocery store that I feel terribly guilty about. I hate this.

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MAKING ME HAPPY: Well, my nails are really long? Not leaving my bed at all has given me the opportunity to grow out my nails and I feel like a super sexy badass Gen Z Instagram model. I am none of those things, but my nails are really cute.