FEELING: Drained. Drained! I started this month with unbearable allergies. Taking Lexapro, an SSRI, for depression/anxiety. A painful colposcopy and biopsy. The bizarre balance between feeling better due to meds and yet more anxious due to my health scare has been DRAINING! Luckily, the biopsy came back negative!!! But I basically spent this entire month in health limbo. Now I’m heading into summer trying to get healthier in advance of my follow-up pap smear in November. I’ve been ordered to take vitamins and relax. GOOD LUCK!
.
WATCHING: I once woke up at my boyfriend’s apartment, after falling asleep on him, to catch him watching The Good Wife on TV. We cuddled up and watched it for another couple episodes, on one of those network channels that just plays syndicated TV shows 24/7. I’ve been watching it in earnest to take my mind off of everything else. I’ve also been binging The Real Housewives of Potomac and loving Paradise Hotel, Vanderpump Rules, and The Bachelorette. My current YouTube fave is Safiya Nygard!
.
LISTENING TO: I’m all caught up on my favorite podcasts, so I’m listening to them as they come out. I “rediscovered” my old love songs playlist, and enjoyed it. Basically I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts on the Parcast network, because I love their tight editing, clear narration, and simple but compelling writing. My favorite is Crimes of Passion, but I’m enjoying Not Guilty, Assassinations, The Dark Side Of, and Cults as well!
.
WORKING ON: Well, little did I know that when I got my health insurance and started seeing doctors again, it would snowball into nonstop medical appointments and painful procedures. I’ve been recovering from a colposcopy and biopsy, and starting to take Lexapro for anxiety and depression. I just want to feel like myself again. To be able to take feeling normal for granted. I also interviewed for, and got a job with, a new tour company! I have a month to learn two new tours, so that’s pretty much what I’m working on, in a BIG BAD WAY!
.
THINKING ABOUT: Compassion. Community. How we show others we care, and how we show others we don’t care. My body. How I take for granted that it works, until it doesn’t. The trash heap that is America, especially the states that are banning abortion, and the fear of what’s going to happen next.
.
EATING: Well, I’ve officially gone fully vegetarian. I’ve been a pescetarian for probably ten years, but I’ve been panicking about the demise of our planet, and have decided to go as vegan as possible over the next year. I basically don’t snack on cheese anymore! But I’m also relying on prepared foods a lot, as cooking is not always easy. Canned soups, heat ‘n’ eat packets, yogurt, frozen dinners. I’ve been eating more salads! I feel great. I also had the best cheese fries in the world at Mister Dip’s to celebrate my negative biopsy results, and I’ve been dreaming about them ever since!!
.
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Wearing my cute new summer outfits. Giving more walking tours. Being healthy and getting back to “normal.”
.
MAKING ME HAPPY: The falafel that the grocery store near-ish to me sells — YUM! Wearing clothes instead of just piling on layers. The buffalo tempeh “wings” I make for myself. The way the sunshine comes in my bedroom window between 10am and 1pm on nice days. The hanging plant I bought for my room adding some more greenery to my space. Rediscovering incense cones and burning them to cover up the garbage smell from the alley right below my window (Ah, New York!). Learning new things about my city, and having an excuse to walk around some truly beautiful parts of town!