It’s like The Bachelor, but it takes place inside an IKEA.

It’s like The Bachelor, but with even more than three token non-white minority contestants.

It’s like The Bachelor, but it’s about picking the perfect houseplant.

It’s like The Bachelor, but with fluid sexuality and gender identities.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for picking a child from an orphanage.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for choosing where to order lunch for ‘the team.’

It’s like The Bachelor, but it lasts 100 years.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for narrowing down which of your fuck buddies you will settle to marry.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for North Brooklyn apartment hunting.

It’s like The Bachelor, but without all the free-flowing alcohol.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for people who you went to high school with ten years ago.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for deaf, elderly shelter dogs.

It’s like The Bachelor, but the ultimate winner is chosen by the Electoral College instead of by The Bachelor.

It’s like The Bachelor, but for goths.