Year: 2016

  • ‘A Theatre of Things,’ and a cute/creepy story of hero worship

    ‘A Theatre of Things,’ and a cute/creepy story of hero worship

    As I promised, this story is either going to be cute or creepy. Kinda like this mask. I guess it depends on your perspective. Back in college (almost ten years ago, where does the time go?), I had a favorite professor. He was just my type: everyone says he’s demanding and a way harsh grader,…

  • “I Will Eat My Hat.”

    “I Will Eat My Hat.”

    So. Trump. Let’s talk about it. Again. Just for a little bit. Less than 250 words. I promise. Ever since The Unthinkable Happened, the media have been rushing to mitigate the horror by insisting “Hey, maybe things won’t be so bad!” and “We have to give Trump a chance!” and prattling on about how he’s going to “Make America…

  • GOOD NEWS! Comics R Great

    GOOD NEWS! Comics R Great

    Another week, another struggle to find a silver lining. ICYMI, last month the entire country went insane and it’s only a matter of time before the end of the world! Oh, and also, I had a dizzyingly bad bout of PMS. But the good news is, I’m bleeding today, trading in headaches and cramping and…

  • Currently… in December 2016

    Currently… in December 2016

    FEELING:  Knock knock! Who’s there? I’m still depressed. I get one more appointment with my therapist this year (2016) before I have to wait until 2017 for my insurance to authorize more visits. I’ve seen her once since the election and all I could do was cry and panic. My last appointment is midway through…

  • Not yr “Bubble”

    Not yr “Bubble”

    I wanted to be “over it,” but I’m not “over it.” As much as it pains me to accept the comparison, I — much like the Pubescent-Elect — am upset over an SNL skit. First, you have to watch the video. Watch it aaaaaaaall the way to the end. That last joke! The one at Brooklyn’s…

  • Holy Shit, Cheese Though

    Holy Shit, Cheese Though

    I don’t say this often, at least, not as much as I should (I know), but dammit, I love… cheese. Invariably, small talk always leads to the “Would You Rather” question which I used to stumble over: “Would you rather live without chocolate, or cheese?” I mean, would I want to live in a world where I…

  • #GreySweatpantsChallenge Showed Me That I *Can* Still Feel Joy

    #GreySweatpantsChallenge Showed Me That I *Can* Still Feel Joy

    So I realized that, like, this whole month of posts has been angry and sad. Like, alternating: angry, sad, angry, sad. Sometimes you’d get angry, with a bonus of sad! Upon self- and blog-reflection, I became worried. Worried that I’d become a jaded, angry person who would never find the sun again. That I was…

  • How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Watch Cold War Documentaries (See What I Did There?)

    How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Watch Cold War Documentaries (See What I Did There?)

      How are we doing this week? Rough? I hear ya. My Thanksgiving was bittersweet: calm and (mostly) relaxed, overcast and cozy — just how I like it! Now that the weekend is here, it’s back to work, but I thought I’d share my secret to getting through the “holiday of thanks” (lol yeah right…

  • GOOD NEWS! You Don’t Have To Hit Those Gross “Black Friday” Sales Today to Get All Your Christmas Shopping Done!!!

    GOOD NEWS! You Don’t Have To Hit Those Gross “Black Friday” Sales Today to Get All Your Christmas Shopping Done!!!

    True Story: I did the “Black Friday” thing once…like, ten years ago. I think it was 2006 or 2007. Woke up at 4am, went to Sam’s Club and Joanne Fabrics with mah besties. Ate a lot of granola bars standing in lines. Oh, I also worked Black Friday Weekend at Target in 2003. I remember…

  • What I’m Thankful For:

    What I’m Thankful For:

      this corner of the sofa. You’re great. Never change, baby.   Worst Cooks in America on Netflix — thanks for reminding me of a time before terror.   Clue for iPhone. Thanks for making sense of my body. I feel more in control and less adrift when it comes to my moods, pain, and periods.  …

  • The Cake Dream

    The Cake Dream

    On Monday night, I fell asleep on my boyfriend while watching Jean-Claude Van Damme or something, and I had a dream about cake. The cake in my dream was a vanilla cake, light and spongy, half-decorated in white frosting and half-decorated in dark chocolate frosting. Like a giant, fluffy, black-and-white cookie! In the dream, it was…

  • When Reality Is Harder To Watch Than Reality TV

    When Reality Is Harder To Watch Than Reality TV

    Remember back when we cared about things like Kardashians and who was going to win The Bachelorette? You know, before the Nazis silently took over our country and we were all murmuring to each other in disbelief: “how much worse can it get?” Life after 11/9 has been one long inhale that I’m still holding, holding, holding. 11/9 —that’s…

  • Thanksgiving? What Thanksgiving?

    Thanksgiving? What Thanksgiving?

    Ho, ho, ho, my fellow hoes! I call you “hoes” like “whores” because we all know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex work as long as nobody’s being exploited and everyone has given consent! Merry Christmas!   Yeah, assholes, CHRISTMAS. It goes right from Halloween to Christmas. TBF, Thanksgiving isn’t even a holiday anymore, let’s…

  • My Last Half-Hearted Joke About Tr*mp Before I Either Write About Something Else, Or Hide Under My Bed Until 2020

    My Last Half-Hearted Joke About Tr*mp Before I Either Write About Something Else, Or Hide Under My Bed Until 2020

      I keep checking my calendar because it feels like time just stopped on November 8th. Starting January 21, it’ll start to go backwards! No, that wasn’t “The Joke.”   The Joke is that I woke up on November 8th at 4:00am, duh, to go work the election poll site. I had to be five…

  • Some Better Suggestions for the Cabinet: Reality Show Stars More Qualified And Less Evil Than Tr*mp

    Some Better Suggestions for the Cabinet: Reality Show Stars More Qualified And Less Evil Than Tr*mp

    This election has shown us that less than half of half of the elligible voters in this country don’t know the difference between reality and reality TV, by electing a highly unqualified (*coughRACISTcough*) to the highest office in the country. As long as we’ve fucked up this big, why not go all the way? In…

  • Privilege, Empathy, and Survival

    Privilege, Empathy, and Survival

    Wow. Quiet. So, we’re pretty fucked. Yeah, it’s been less than a week, and all the Tr*mp-apologist media outlets have been crowing “Come together with the alt-right!” “try to understand the white working class’s ability to overlook blatant racism and threats to your safety because of their anger!” and “give Tr*mp a chance!” So then hate crimes skyrocketed,…

  • GOOD NEWS: You Don’t Have To “Be Positive”

    GOOD NEWS: You Don’t Have To “Be Positive”

    Well, hello again, friends. Every Friday, I try to highlight some of the things that have made me happy during the week. As I struggle in the fight against depression and anxiety, I found it helpful to focus even a small amount of my energies towards finding the positive in the every day. This week,…

  • Why Blog Today?

    Why Blog Today?

    Well, what the fuck do we do now? We do the best we can. Only harder. This isn’t me “returning to life as usual,” this is me refusing to be robbed of every last shred of my humanity. Oh, to be fucking sure, I have lost a lot in this election. My faith in rationality, my trust in…

  • Please, Please, PLEASE Vote for Hillary Clinton Tomorrow.

    Please, Please, PLEASE Vote for Hillary Clinton Tomorrow.

    I don’t usually get political —   Okay, well, that’s a lie.   Well, I don’t usually BEG you to do anything, but today, I’m begging. PLEASE vote for Hillary Clinton tomorrow. I know some of you are still “undecided.” Or you’ve decided firmly, you’ve decided that you hate both candidates and you can’t choose, so you…

  • Good News! “SMILE” – The Election Is Almost Over!

    Good News! “SMILE” – The Election Is Almost Over!

    What a slog it’s been! Feels like this election has been going on for two years — which it actually almost has. So the Good News for today is that, in two days, we gain an extra hour of sleep (yay!) and in four days, for better or for worse, the campaigning season is OVER. In many…