Honestly, darling, you’re disgusting. That filthy mess-hole you lay down in every night is a testament to your fine talent for ruining everything you touch. Yes, I’m talking about your bed! Instead of fighting your predilections for staining your sheets, lean in to them! These seven duvets and comforter sets will camouflage even the most nefarious stains:
Who needs tissues, when your Pastoral Yellow Floral bedding set is right there? Blow your nose into the subtle yellow hue with abandon, and never fear the telltale snot trails!
Chocolate stains will fade into the background of this lavish Westgate Putnam 4-piece comforter set from Kohl’s. You’ll never be able to stop yourself from falling asleep with a spoon in your open Ben & Jerry’s, but at least you’ll stop worrying about the indelible chocolate stains your indulgence is leaving behind.
Grease — it’s the word, and it’s all over your sheets. Is it the potato chips you ate in bed while watching Netflix on your iPad? Or is it from the time you insisted you were giving up shampoo for a more “natural look”? We don’t want to know, so we won’t ask, but we wouldn’t have to if you switched to this Madison Park Abbey 7-piece bed set from J.C. Penney. Is that a stain? Or part of the design?
You’ve been doing your own laundry since college, but you’re still not sure how these bleach spots show up on your sheets. Or maybe your topical acne treatment is staining your pillowcases? In either case, the Hummingbird Reversible Duvet & Sham will allow those mysterious splotches to fade harmoniously into the watercolor design.
Heavy hand on those night creams? You may be erasing the lines under your eyes, but you’re adding to the streaks on your sheets! The light-blue feminine rustic feel of the Floral Frenzy Comforter Set lets you feel fresh as the daisy on the sheets without the telltale signs of lotion overdose.
Have the occasional splatter of baby batter on your sheets? The Lucia Duvet Cover and Sham Set won’t tell. The elegant, scrolling, arabesque design is so dizzying to behold, your eyes won’t have time to focus on that cum stain you just can’t seem to scrub out. Don’t worry about your past trysts haunting you ever again — except on Facebook.
There hasn’t been a month since your first period when you HAVEN’T bled a little on your sheets. Can’t fight Mother Nature, but you can embrace it with the Folksy Floral Comforter Set by Teen Vogue! The dark navy background and red flowers will camouflage nearly any kind of blood stain your uterus can ooze out.
You can’t help being a disgusting little slug of a human being. But you can minimize the appearance of your snail trail by swapping out your solid duvet for a floral pattern that will help your filthy stain fade into the environs!