First, a word:  this is my hypothetical list.  I do not condone IN ANY WAY the further abuse of retail workers around the holidays by participating in “Black Friday” or worse, “Black Thursday,” wherein not even the holiday itself is sacred.  Not that it really ever was, but try to keep in mind that there are people who don’t get to spend a moment of the holidays with their families because they’re too busy listening to you whine about getting things they can’t even afford for Christmas.  So, here’s my – how about this?  Cyber Monday list.  I would sit up all night for a crack at a deal on some of these products I’ve had lingering on my online wishlists:

1.  Joan of Arctic Sorel Boots  have been an object of my lust for some years now.  SO EXPENSIVE.  I go through boots in the winter like tissues during winter….because I blame my winter colds on my inability to obtain and maintain non-leaky shoes.  These are so tough-looking, so (allegedly) durable and SO FLUFFY!  They’d have to be like…90% off for me to afford them.  Keep dreaming…

2.  Graphic Novels  are so expensive buuuuuut…if there was a buy one, get four free Cyber Monday deal, I’d be all up on these!

3.  iPhone 5  I may need to upgrade my phone.  My current phone had 6GB of space, all of which is used up.  I need to make space for tools for my new job, and I just can’t part with any apps!  I suppose if I clean off all the music, I might be able to make it work…OR, if there was an amazing sale on iPhones, I could just upgrade my ancient iPhone 4 (yeah, not even a 4S!) to something with bigger GB and be able to have it all!!!  Yeah, baby!

4.  Fortune Cookie Locket  is a stupid splurge I’ve been holding back from pulling the trigger on for A WHILE NOW.  It’s hard to find a 14-inch chain, which is my ideal necklace length, and just the right angle to the cookie.  I LOVE FORTUNE COOKIES.  Well, not the taste – I mean, WHO DOES.  But collecting fortunes is such a hobby of mine that my mother (Hi, Mom!) saves them (oh and thanks for doing that, too!) for me in bulk when she finds a particularly inspirational message.  I even have a pair of them in my wallet:  “Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure” and “The essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love, and passion.”  I know it may sound corny but these two bits of advice actually have helped me through some trying times and some difficult decisions.  Laugh if you like, but if this necklace would go 50% off, I’d pull that trigger – Choice love and passion indeed!

5.  H&M dresses  oh my H&M I love you, but you make me poor.  I just splurged (oh no) on four new dresses (for my new adult-type job!) and now own this dress in red, black, gray, and purple which if you think about it, gives me almost a week of school without having to think about putting “outfits” together.  But imagine…imagine if there was some kind of “Buy One, Get Three Free” sale.