*ding dong*

I’m not expecting company…

“[mumble mumble] Diaz?”

a strong, authoritative man’s voice on the other side of the door.

Uh oh.  Is someone in trouble?  Someone named “Diaz”?  They have the wrong person!  I don’t want anyone knocking my door down!

I do a quick check in the bathroom mirror on my way to answer the door.  Two men in dark jackets through the spyhole.  I open my door.

“Hello, I think you have the wrong address…”  I start just as they state again:

“Buenos dias!”

“Oh!”  So that’s what they mumbled through my door!

“Do you speak Spanish?”

“No,” I shake my greasy bedhead hair in sympathetic apology.

“Does anyone in the house speak Spanish?”  they ask incredulously, peering past me into my hallway.

“No, it’s just me,” I lean against the door frame.  Probably shouldn’t tell strange men you’re home alone in the middle of the day in heart-splattered lounge pants and a Snoopy t-shirt.

“And you speak no Spanish?”  he cannot comprehend my trespass.  He asks again in his lilting accent.

“Enhhh…”  I want to try to reply in Spanish, something clever, but I know by now that it’s best to play dumb unless it’s an emergency.  I scrunch my face up and gesture with my fingers apart a small distance.  He laughs.

“We are sharing the good news!”  He makes a grand gesture with his right arm and shows me the book in his left hand.  “The Bible!”

I am caught off guard. 

“Oh!  I’m sorry.  Um.  I’m really sorry.  Have a good day, anyway!” 

With both hands, I shut the door slowly on the two gentlemen as their smiles turn to faces of confusion.

You and me, both, guys.